- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
I’m just having a bit of a vent. However, I like venting here since sometimes you Bees open my eyes often to perhaps something I haven’t considered.
Here’s the short rundown – I’m engaged. Hooray! My partner and I have been planning our wedding for the past year and it’s not far to go. 🙂 We are paying for everything ourselves but because I’m the only girl, mum has definitely been helping me with the planning (both a blessing and a curse haha). We’ve had some differences but she’s my mum and she gets me. For instance we aren’t have a wedding cake. We have a three course meal already and feel we don’t need a cake. My partner is obsessed with lollies so we are doing as lolly/candy bar instead. Mum was quite confused and asked what we would do instead, and how would we get a cake cutting picture, etc. When I said we just wouldn’t have one, she thought about it for a moment and said “oh! okay” and that was it.
At this stage out of four sets of parents (we both have split parents), no one has offered to help pay. My mum is the only one really struggling with funds at the moment and we’ve decided to politely decline anyone that does offer. However, this is where I start getting frustrated.
My mum and dad’s split is recent (three years) and they’ve only recently gotten everything sorted with my half-brothers, the house and savings, etc. So my mum has had financial issues but then her and her new partner are always fixing up the garden, buying “discounted” paint to repaint their house, have all these plans to re-do the kitchen, and there’s always these plans in the pipeline. And it’s frustrating when I’m the only daughter and mum hasn’t even mentioned anything – not paying for my veil, or perhaps my shoes, something small. I wouldn’t accept it but it’s kind of the principle.
Recently my mum’s partner “proposed” to my mum (they basically made the decision to wed). Now don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy for them but this is going to be my mum’s third marriage. They’ve also decided that even though they can’t really afford it, they are going to get married within six months – in January.
I’m just kind of feeling like isn’t it my turn? I’m planning to make this my only marriage and now I just feel like the spotlight is gone from me. My mum used to text or email me things to help me plan – things she thought I’d like, or things I’d told her I liked and she found photos, etc. Now, my mum is texting me tbings for her wedding, it’s all over her facebook and barely a peep about me. I sometimes feel like I’m the mum. For instance she asked me to call the wedding dress shop where I got mine, if I could organise an appointment for her, or check how much their dresses are since she has a tight budget.
I don’t know – maybe I’m being selfish.
Anyway, that’s my vent over. Anyone else having mum issues? 🙂