(Closed) [Vent] No! You can't use those songs!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 122
Member
7556 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Sounds like you are going to try to keep the peace but my personal response would have been, “FUCK YOU, aaaaaaaand….. moving on to the next issue on the agenda….” but then people say I can be aggressive! Wink lol

Post # 123
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Use them. You’re the one who is actually planning a wedding. By the time she gets married, people might have forgotten what you played.

It’s also entirely possible she’ll change her mind. I’ve changed mine several times during the wedding planning process!

Post # 124
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

All I have to say is that I CANNOT remember what songs anybody used for their first dance (let alone the daddy daugther dance) EVER for any wedding I have EVER EVER EVER been to. That includes weddings I have been to recently. I don’t know, they’re all the same anyway. Who cares if 4 or 5 years from now she gets married and wants to use those same songs. NO ONE will remember!

I think to be practical – a compromise: you use the song you want for your first dance, since that’s supposed to be YOUR (as a couple) song (and maybe whe she gets married her and her husband will have another song that is special to them for whatever reason) and just chose another song for the daddy dance. If she’s still made about that, she’s crazy.

Post # 126
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@GamersBride:  

 

I agree with everyone else on this… I’d never heard of these songs…. but now I love the “Dad” song since I watched it on youtube I sent it to my wedding singer and asked if they can do it for my wedding in Australia.

 

So thanks, something good has come out of a rotten situation.

Post # 127
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@somethingaquamarine:  +1. Your sister is being immature and greedy. She is EIGHTEEN! Years ahead of her before she gets married. And your mother is being silly too, siding with her. If they choose not to attend your wedding because of the songs you choose to dance to, good riddance, you are probably better off without them there! I know it’s your family, but for heaven’s sake, they need to grow the eff up!

Post # 128
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Your sister and mum are being rediculous BUT I know a lovely song that I is perfect for Father Daughter dance, I cant imagine a more wonderful song….so if you are considering changing one of them to keep the peace have a listen to this: I LOVED HER FIRST: it is a song about Dad loving his little girl first and now letting her husband take over type thing….brings me to tears whenever I hear it:)

Post # 129
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@GamersBride:  wow! what a tough position for your sister AND your mom to put you in. and only a month before your wedding~ that’s crazy! I would say if you want to use the songs, use them. your sister’s only 18 and not in a relationship. She’s got YEARS before she has to pick songs. Most likely she’ll change her mind by then anyway~

But if you really just want to keep the peace, have you asked your dad about any songs he would like to dance with you to? My dad and I have been going over some songs together and it’s been a very special bonding time for us. Just a suggestion…

Good luck! 🙂

Post # 130
Member
2478 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

I never say screw your sister (cause my sis is my BFF) but…Ta hell with that. USE THE SONGS! She’s not even in a relationship!

Post # 131
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@GamersBride:  This is a really well thought-out, super mature response to this situation! Kudos! I think I may have learned something today. 🙂

Post # 132
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I guess the giving in is so confusing to me because as @MsBlackberry said, for me it would be much less stressful to tell her to fuck off and then move on. I had to do that with someone at my wedding who wanted to control things.

Post # 133
Member
8700 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@GamersBride:  I know it’s not funny, but this made me laugh SO hard!

Holy mother of crazy, Batman! I can’t believe your family is siding with your (crazy daisy) sister over you!

No one is EVER going to know you used the same songs but you two and possibly your mother!

Post # 134
Member
2265 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@GamersBride:  I just wanted to congratulate you on your mature attitude toward this.  Your sister and mom both sound like peices of work (shame on them both!), but I think you’re doing the right thing by not making this into some kind of mexican standoff. 

Hey, if/when she gets married – ask her what songs she’s using.  If they’re not the same ones she threw a fit about, insist that she use them or, if they’re different, insist that she not use them because they’re special to you and you want to use them for some distant event that’s not even scheduled. 

Post # 135
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@GamersBride:  I love the song “when I said I do”, DH didn’t like it so we used it for a different reason (a special anniversary dance, longest lasting couple got the bouquet). The song was a perfect it for it. It is sad you won’t use it, but I get ‘picking your battles’ when you have so much on your plate. Just please consider not giving her the opportunity in the future, stop telling her, and maybe your mom, the details they don’t NEED to know. Best of luck!

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