(Closed) vent: pegnant maid of honor, due to deliver just before my wedding date

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yikes. You’re seriously accusing your Maid/Matron of Honor of getting pregnant to “upstage” you?

If this is how you talk about your closest friends, I’d hate to be your enemy…

ETA – you obviously don’t like this chick all that much – if you want to replace her, you should.

Post # 4
Member
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

I am sorry that you feel like she never puts you first in anything. I have a friend like that and it is grating. I would ask her to step down and just be a guest provided that she can attend at all.

Post # 5
Member
911 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia

I am in a similar situation, although in my case it is a bridesmaid and not Maid/Matron of Honor.

The truth, aside from “she always does this, she seeks attention”, is that she realistically will not be able to perform the duties/responsibilites of Maid/Matron of Honor. You need to have a conversation with her that says basically that. And then pick another one of your girls to step up.

She can still be a bridesmaid, and if she can’t attend the wedding, so be it.

My bridesmaid isn’t pregnant yet, but is planning on starting to try for her second child in January/February, (last time she got pregnant immediately) which would either make her just about to pop or in labor for my October wedding. I am not about to dictate when she should conceive. So, we are just going to see what happens. If I end up with uneven numbers, so be it. There are worse things in the world. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

Unfortunatley things like this happen.  You waited to have you wedding in respect to her.  She probably didn’t mean to get pregnant as soon as she was married but it happens all the time.  Just be there for each other.  You both have amazing things going on and don’t hold it against her.  I have a feeling she wouldn’t hold it against you.  Best of luck!

Post # 7
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

@plcadinha:  You asked her to wait to get pregnant?!  Oy…

Post # 8
Member
5221 posts
Bee Keeper

Is this for real? You seriously think that you can dictate someone else getting pregnant? Sorry it didn’t work out the way you planned. 

Post # 9
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Last time I looked, as an Adult I was not responsible to REPORT to anyone in regards to my sex life… (and my choices to reproduce or not)

I’m quite frankly amazed that you feel that your Girlfriend needs to with you

Shes a married lady, getting on with her own life

I’m sorry if you don’t feel that she took your feelings / needs under consideration

BUT I do think you have an unrealistic image of an Adult Friendship (you cannot DICTATE things to her)

I think at this point in time, you need to suck it up and move on

Either you are her friend and want her as a Maid/Matron of Honor (and that means NO RESENTMENT… you really should be happy she’s in LOVE and having a baby)

OR you go out and find someone else to be in your Bridal Party

 

Post # 11
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@plcadinha:  soo…because she’s excited about being pregant and put it on facebook, that means she got pregnant on purpose?  And how are what “precautions” she took ANY of your business, wedding or not?  I’m sorry, I really am having a hard time wrapping my head around this. If you don’t want her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, ask her to step aside, but do so knowing that it will probably end your friendship.  However, if she knew how you felt about her pregnancy, that would probably end the friendship anyway.

Post # 12
Member
565 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You can’t expect this girl to plan her life around your wedding. You were kind enough to postpone your wedding for her sake, but that was your decision. She probably felt pressured to say one thing when she really wanted the other.

Post # 14
Member
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

last time I checked… a friend wouldn’t dictate when another friend can and can’t have a baby b/c of a wedding. Maybe she changed her mind… SO WHAT! She already said she’s going to try her hardest to make it! Honestly if I were your friend and all you asked me was for me to wait a little while. I’d laugh in your face and say “Then I guess we really aren’t friends” Babies are a decision between ME and MY SPOUSE and noone else.

PS: as for you putting your plans on hold for her… she never asked you to do it… She actually did the right thing and suggested that she may not be able to help you out as much as a Maid/Matron of Honor should. YOU are the one who decided to put your wedding on hold.

Post # 15
Member
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

From what the OP is stating it sounds like the girl told her she was going to wait to TTC, then made comments on FB that she and her husband were having unprotected sex. She said one thing then did another. Of course the OP is upset. Her friend lied to her.

Post # 16
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Your first mistake was postponing your wedding date by a year just to accomodate her.  I could understand picking a different month, but a year??

The topic ‘vent: pegnant maid of honor, due to deliver just before my wedding date’ is closed to new replies.

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