(Closed) VENT – Our wedding is NOT ABOUT YOU!

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

I completely feel your pain today. I am SOOOO over people responding to things I’m saying that we are doing with “oh that’s not right’ and “you shouldn’t do that to your guests.” In MY opinion, my guests should be thankful that we asked them to be with us on our special day. We could have chosen to exclude them, but instead we are making a sacrifice in our lives and finances to accommodate them.

I’m so sick of the word etiquette and what i’m “SUPPOSED” to do! Etiquette does NOT pay my bills nor do all these people with their endless bank accounts and ideas.

I apologize for the rant, but today..I’m OVER IT!

Post # 33
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

I understand the whole etiquette sucks things, but after being through my own wedding, I have a different understanding of what my wedding was really about.  It was not solely MY day, but the day I was welcomed into a new family and my own family gained an extra member.  It was also a day where friends and family celebrated being together and celebrated in our happiness and the parts they played in molding us into the people we are today.

I am sorry if I came across harsh.  I truly believe every wedding can accomidate a few extra +1’s if other things are sacrificed.  The people who mean enough to be invited should mean enough to you to find a way to accomidate.  In the end, my wedding was magical and wonderful because everyone was having a good time.  I didn’t go with the flowers I loved to accomidate everyone bringing a guest, but I don’t look back and think, damn, the cheeper bouquet doesn’t do it for me, I DO remember dancing till the lights came on, with our guests (and their dates).  There were a few random people in the bathroom I didn’t know as I did my business, but now they are they are the live in girlfirends, wives, and mothers of the guests who we invited.

Post # 34
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sounds like your friend has a lot going on right now, so don’t be too hard on him. I would ignore any snarkiness on his part (like random fb posts). Your Fiance sent a good text and that’s about all you can do. Except if he does show, introduce him to a nice single girl! lol  Don’t let this get you down!

Post # 35
Member
3974 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I would give him the benefit of the doubt with the FB post but my biggest wedding pet peeve is people either thinking they are entitled to be invited to a wedding or inviting people who are not invited. It’s just so rude. 

Post # 36
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Your friend is being rude.  I don’t think the fb message is related though.  Don’t allow him to bring a +1. 

@Pugsandkisses:  every wedding can certainly NOT accommodate +1s nor should they have to.  Why should the bride and groom have to sacrifice in others areas just so some friend can bring some random person you’ll probably never see again?  It’s a waste of money and impersonal. 

I think adults should be mature enough to make conversation in social situations with depending on a +1.  People who can’t should get therapy. 

Post # 37
Member
44 posts
Newbee

@futuremrsdq: Wow…your guests should be thanking you for inviting them? Wonder how many would still come if they knew your attitude…the guests give up a lot to be there and you should be thankful they are willing to include you as important enough to give up time and money…

I don’t think I’m buying the budget thing anymore though as you keeo saying you don’t want to spend a ton on people you don’t know, hence no guest for singles, but that you want an intimate wedding…then budget constraints but money you say you are spending you could’ve done probably just as good but cheaper. It’s your day, you made that clear, but remember your guests are giving up stuff too. If it was just  about you you maybe should’ve eloped.

Post # 38
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

If his facebook post is referring to this, he is INCREDIBLY immature and passive-agressive in his communication.

Post # 39
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I have people throwing tantrums about plus ones, AND bringing their kids. I hate to sound cold, but if it’s really that horrible for any of these people to be without their significant other/kids, DON’T COME. Most brides (myself included) would be happy to boot a few people off their list. I’m sorry; it’s the truth. As much as we want to be accomodating, we have to draw the line somewhere.

Post # 40
Member
466 posts
Helper bee

You reaslly cant assume, even if its so you will never know as you will be going on a hunch so I say give the benefit of the doubt that its about something else

Post # 41
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My cousin didn’t even ask and just showed up with her “fiance” – they got engaged within the same week she received our invitation.

A month after our wedding, she filed a restraining order against him.

And we didn’t get a gift or even a card.

The topic ‘VENT – Our wedding is NOT ABOUT YOU!’ is closed to new replies.

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