(Closed) Vent: People who shouldn’t be getting married

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

All the time. It is annoying I agree. Especially when they get on your case about how “he must not really love you if he hasn’t proposed” and “oh we’re so happy we never ever ever fight and never ever will”.

 

oooo…I’m annoyed thinking about it. 

Post # 5
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@MissOtter31: My very good friend and her older boyfriend. I don’t know why she settled for someone who belittles her and scolds her like a child. When I have told her my concerns in the past, she didn’t take it well. So now I just support her.

In response to your story…Financially, my husband and I weren’t ready either. But we made it work because that’s what you do when you are in love. We had an elegant wedding and honestly, I look around and couldn’t feel more blessed with what’s in my life.

But if these people are 21 and still partying, they will soon part. I can bet on it. Once the drunken haze wears off.

Post # 6
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

sometimes that thought will cross my mind but then i realise that sometimes i’m just envious of how optimistic other people are! like, despite their finances, their lifestyles, them not even knowing each other well, they STILL decide to get married, it just amazes me because i think wow, that is just kind of admirable in a way!  not what I personally would do, I like to take a lot of time to think things through, but hey, if it works for them, it works for them.  It is upsetting when you’re waiting (and waiting, and waiting) hearing about other people I know…. believe me, I know!

Post # 7
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I understand where you’re coming from. My Darling Husband and I dealt with a similar situation with his brother. Now I feel that way towards some women that get pregnant that are less responsible than the 2 of us:(

Post # 8
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t think age, length of relationship or finances should decide whether or not two people are ready to be married.

If they do drugs together they sounds toxic for each other, regardless of whether they’re married or not, which is a shame. It sounds almost like the engagement isn’t as much of a problem as the drug addiction is. It’s definitely upsetting to see a friend enter a relationship that could bring them down so much. I hope they get clean and can have a healthy relationship!

Post # 9
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

It’s annoying, but sadly you have to let people make their own mistakes. 

My sister got engaged to her long distance boyfriend after only dating 4 months and seeing him in person twice. It stung because at the time I was not yet engaged and I had been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and we had been living together. It also bothered me because I felt like she was making a huge mistake rushing into this. Predictably, but still unfortunately, my sister’s relationship with her Fiance failed and they split ways… their wedding date has come and gone. 

Post # 10
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

What do you mean by financially stable? Like, making lots of $, or financially independent at all? For example, my husband and I were 21/22 when we got married, so I’m usually a proponent of younger marriage, but only if you’re financially independent – we don’t make much, and we’re going to end up moving all over the country together for more school and more work, but we don’t rely on anyone to pay our rent or buy our groceries 🙂

But yes, I definitely have friends who go all crazy over what I feel is the wrong decision – like one of my friends who moved in with a guy who turned out to be emotionally abusive after only knowing him for about a month, then snatched the bouquet cause she wanted to marry him. Just gotta let them come and go, cause they certainly don’t take advice haha

Post # 12
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Kudos to you for keeping it to yourself and taking the high road. Because as much as it sounds like a disaster in the making, clearly you understand that it’s their choice. Sometimes people just need to make the mistake, because they won’t think logically.

I’ve known several couples who I doubted whether they’d stay together or not. And also some who I think could have waited longer before getting engaged. But in the end, it’s always hard to tell. Some people end up making it married for 50+ years no matter how long they dated…some will end up in divorce or at the very least in an unhappy marriage.

I wish them the best though and you as well. I think it’s a smart decision for you guys to be waiting until you can be stable financially. It’s hard, but Fiance and I are doing the same thing. Knowing how we are now, it was the right decision. Finances can put a huge strain on a relationship, and if you don’t have to do it, it’s best to wait. Hopefully you can remain happy together and in the moment until that time comes! Smile

Post # 14
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yes there is a wedding I am invited to where I feel this way. And I’ve attended one in the past as well. There’s nothing you can do or say unfortunately, but I just hope for the best, you know?

Post # 15
Member
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Clearly these two people should not be getting married at this time. Drugs and alcohol dependencies never end well, unless there is some sort of intervention.

Having said that, approx.  50% of marriages will end in divorce. So 50% of us will not make it, and really shouldn’t be getting married in the first place.

Post # 16
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Cash000: Are those really the stats? WOW!

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