(Closed) Vent: People who shouldn’t be getting married

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 47
Member
10713 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@soyjoy222: Agreed. 

We party… I don’t think that makes us immature… we like to drink we go to raves, we drink and go out together we enjoy it… were still getting married. lol

Post # 48
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

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@soyjoy222: You beat me to it.

Post # 51
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@kperry3:

I don’t think anyone can ever really say that someone else’s relationship/marriage is great (or doomed, or whatever). It’s not something you can ever really know. I can look at a marriage from the outside and say it looks great or it looks like a train wreck. But I also know that I work really hard to keep my personal business, well, personal. I keep my relationship problems to myself, because I feel like once you make it everyone’s business, it’s that much harder to work out with all your friends and family are piling on. So I’ve had some godawful relationships that people were just shocked to see end. Because we were so perfect together and seemed so happy.

I’ve seen people that seem genuinely happy in relationships where I’d be miserable. And I know people that, to all appearances, are desperately unhappy in miserable relationships with constant drama, but they stay with each other, so I guess they must be getting something they want from it, even if it’s just not being alone.

But in general, I think life is just too short to worry about what other people are doing. We can think they’re making mistakes, or “There but for the grace of god…” but in the end, they’re going to live their own lives and there’s nothing we can do but scratch our heads, wonder what the hell they were thinking, and get on with doing the best we can to be happy ourselves. (All the while remembering the things that make us happy, someone else out there is recoiling in disgust and wondering what the hell we’re thinking and is so grateful not to be us.)

Post # 52
Member
10713 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@MissOtter31: Oh yeah I guess when I tell people 9 months I should say we met 9 months before he proposed we were together 8 months and lived together 4 months =)… When ya know- ya know.

Post # 54
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

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@MissOtter31: He was blackmailing your boyfriend?  In that case I would keep my concerns to myself and quietly hope they do create the mess that they seem to get themselves into.  Yes, I’m petty like that.

Post # 56
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Awwwwwh, this seems a bit miserable!! Maybe they are just very much in love and feel they don’t want to live without each other. Sometimes people make it who you really don’t expect to. I can think myself of a few very happy, long marriages where the woman fell preganant at 16, and the couple hadn’t known each other v long.

As for the drugs, I don’t know the couple so I can’t really comment if they’ve got a problem – but it’s only party drugs you’ve mentioned. It does sound like they’re just young and having fun.

Post # 57
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MissOtter31:  Ok, so I’ll admit I’m probably slightly bitter because I’m in the waiting stage and will be for several more years.

It seems jealousy is more of the issue than anything else.  Why is it such a competition?  “We’ve been together longer and they’re getting married before us?!”

This is an ex-friend and people you pretty much don’t even like.  Why do you even care? 

Post # 58
Member
3048 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

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@Elvis: You’re right. I can’t know truly what someone’s marriage is really like. However, these are my closest friends whom I’ve known for a long time. The tone is our voices indicates whether we’re lying or feeling bad or whatever. So in this case, I think I can say their marriages are great. Perfect? No, but great, yes. We tell each other everything and yea they could be hiding something… but I highly doubt it. The other couple is actually my parents who met and dated for 3 months, got engaged and married after 4 months. They’ve been married for over 40 years and are alive and kicking. Again, their marriage isn’t perfect, but it’s great.

As for the other stuff you said, I agree. I’m not sure if you were just saying it because you thought I didn’t agree or what… but most of that stuff I would point towards the OP, who seemed to disagree and seemed to be worrying about other people’s relationships.

Post # 60
Member
3048 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

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@MissOtter31: Point taken. I’m sorry for misunderstanding you throughout the posts. Like you said, I would have a different reaction if I read everything more carefully. Not trying to attack you or anything, and I’m reminded of many past posts I’ve made stating that people shouldn’t be so quick to judge/attack. So sorry if I was a little over dramatic about the whole thing.

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