(Closed) Vent: Pregnant body = open season??

posted 9 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 32
Member
3682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I’m not pregnant yet, or even TTC, but my husband knows if we’re out in public together, that he’s going to have to guard me from other people trying to touch me when the time comes.  And if they get past him, I’m going to make a scene by screaming bloody murder for them to back off.  

I’ll probably also buy a bunch of the snarky t-shirts from this site:

http://www.cafepress.com/evilgeniusstore/1993389

It’s not ok to touch a woman without her permission when she’s not pregnant, so why should it be any different if she is?????

Post # 33
Member
3682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

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@mwitter80:  Your poor friend!  It’s terrible that people reacted that way.  I hope when I do get pregnant that I carry small.  I’m not gonna go out of my way to try to stay thin and risk hurting the baby, but I’d be terrified of getting too big.  

Post # 34
Member
7294 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i just read the section in my What to Expect book about how to handle when people touch your belly and its unwanted. My fave suggestion was to reciprocate and reach out and rub their belly so they can see how much they like it!  lol.

Post # 35
Member
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

@BothCoasts:  uuuuuuuuuurrgh TRUST ME I KNOW. It bugs the hell out of me. The other day my cousin asked me to show her my bare belly. I was NEVER asked to do this prior to being pregnant. Annoying…

Post # 36
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

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@randomequine:  Or maybe find a shirt that says something like “Touch the belly, lose a hand.” Such a shirt was donated to the thrift store where I’m a volunteer. I don’t know if anyone ever bought it or not.

Post # 37
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

People generally have been great to me this pregnancy (3 weeks to go until my due date!) but I’ve gotten a few “When are you due? Wow, really? But you’re so big already!” at 6 months along. And my father commented on how “fat” I’ve gotten. Um, I have gained 12 pounds total this pregnancy and this is my second child, what’s your excuse pops???

Post # 38
Member
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yeah, I get the “oh man, you look ready to pop” comments pretty frequently from strangers. I’m 25w with twins, so yeah I understand that I’m bigger than most ladies at this point with a single pregnancy… At 5’1″ I don’t have anywhere for these boys to go than out in the front!

Honestly, the comments that bother me most are from people I know, though. “OMG you’re going to be as big as a house!” “OMG you’re huge already!” “OMG how are you going to be able to walk in a month?!”

My mom gets a little *too* much enjoyment out of telling me how big I am. And my stepmom too… I told her point blank that she needs to stop, because she’s hurting my feelings and making me feel fat. Then she turns around and says “Ooh honey, you’re not fat, you’re beautiful!” Well if you’re telling me how huge I am, usually that doesn’t make someone feel very pretty!

Post # 39
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

HAHA! Yes, it annoyed me as hell! My Mother-In-Law would always come for the belly and comment how “hard” it was – like at 10 weeks! DH got tired and told her: it’s her abs, mom!

Post # 40
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Oh no somethng to look forward to… I’ve heard the complaint before from pregnant women about people touching their belly and I think it’s crazy because I would NEVER do this unless invited to and given permission. You can’t control what comes out of people’s mouths but you’d think you’d be able to control someone touching your body! Yeesh!

Post # 41
Member
5427 posts
Bee Keeper

I would actually grab the stranger’s hand, before it touches the belly, and look at them like they have two heads… and fling their hand away. And if they DARE open their mouths to speak about how rude I was, I would say: “Escuse me… this is my body why are you trying to touch MY body, please do not touch me. I don’t see you trying to touch the belly of any other person around here.” It will give them food for thought and also possibly warn others that it’s not okay!!

Post # 42
Member
4038 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’ve been really lucky so far in that anyone who has touched me has either A) asked first AND B) been a close friend or family member. I’m dreading the day that someone I don’t know tries to touch me uninvited. 

As for comments, they’ve been a bit sporadic. An aunt asked if I was having twins, a friend told me I was too small, another informed me that I must be having a girl because I’m “spreading” in every direction (she was really drunk, though, which doesn’t make it better, but doesn’t make me want to punch her because she would have kept her mouth shut otherwise). And honestly, those comments don’t bother me so much, because again, they’re from people I know. 

My big pet peeve is the people who think they can tell me what to do with my body, particularly men, and more often than not about my coffee intake (which is usually one mug of regular coffee a day). I told the August mamas about this, but the other day I got chastised by a (male) clerk at a Turkey Hill for getting coffee. I told him that working as a clerk who maybe occasionally saw a pregnant woman didn’t in any way, shape or form qualify him to dispense advice about my uterus, and then told him I’d ask for his opinion after he got a degree in obstetrics. DH was pulling me out of there, but mostly because he was trying not to laugh. Another really annoying one was my MALE TEENAGED cousin who thought he was qualified to tell me I shouldn’t have a cup of coffee because I’d hurt the baby. 

But yeah, open season is the right phrasing for it. I can’t imagine anyone going up and touching a non-pregnant woman’s stomach/lecturing them on their coffee habits, but as soon as they realize you’re knocked up, you’re public property. Ridiculous. 

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