(Closed) VENT: Rude comments about our budget

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m sorry to hear that happened to you.  I think budgets are just one of those things that should remain between those involved (now if she were planning a wedding and wanted the info as a reference, it’d be different). 

My coworker asked me how much I was paying for my venue, and that made me incredibly uncomfortable.  But I told her anyways… Frown

Post # 19
Member
2896 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I was shocked at how much a wedding these days can cost, so Fiance and I talked it out and decided what we can afford. I am amazed at how many people think that type of question is ok! A friend of ours asked Fiance flat out how much our wedding is going to cost…if you’re not intending to contribute, why should that matter to you at all? I feel like as a bride-to-be, it puts you in an awkward position. If you answer, you’ll probably get criticized for being too cheap/too extravagant, but if you don’t answer, you’re a rude bridezilla. I like what Niki8911 suggested, but even that makes me feel like the rude one…when it’s a rude question to start with. I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels bad/awkward about this. 

Post # 20
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I had a similar experience at Kleinfelds which I found similarly offensive. My bridal consultant asked about my dress budget and when I told her about my budget and my wedding plans said something to the effect of “do you really think you should be spending that much on the dress?” As if to imply that I was being unrealistic about my budget!

Yes, it turns out I AM an adult and have decided this is how much I want to spend on a dress!

I was fuming!

I walked out of the dressing room and told my sister/bridesmaid that I wanted to leave and to make up an excuse for us to get out of there ASAP.

Post # 21
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

i had one of my BMs ask me how much everything was costing and it made me a bit uncomfortable. i think partly because i know she makes more money than me AND she is always asking how much things cost. i am not sure why, maybe she lacks some basic social etiquette skills…..actually, 5 years ago, i remember the first time she came over to my FI’s apartment (then BF), she asked HIM what his rent was! because she couldn’t get over he had such a nice apartment for a graduate student!!! i could never get over rude that was! now i just expect it from her i guess.

Post # 22
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

i would have responded with “why? are you contributing?”

Post # 23
Member
983 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Totally inappropriate for your BOSS to ask you those questions.

I never discuss our budget with people. If people ask, I say, “oh, millions, it seems.”

Post # 24
Member
820 posts
Busy bee

I HATE when people ask personal questions like that.  If she’s not footing the bill, it’s none of her darn business!!!!

I don’t think I would have responded.  I can’t stand when people can’t take a hint. . .your initial comment was an extremely polite way of telling her you didn’t wish to share, and unfortunately she didn’t get it.

That’s like when people ask what someone paid for their house or how much their e-ring was!  WHO CARES?!?!?!

Post # 25
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow. Rude! If she says anything further, just say “wow, are you willing to help us pay?” That might get the oint across!

Post # 26
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2022

Hey ladies, just keep in mind- in some cultures asking what people paid for things is totally normal and not rude at all! I would not take it personally!

Post # 27
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

wow my budget is £2500 and i am going to do it end of story and if anyone else has a problem with it they can go jump in a puddle cause i am beyond caring now

no matter how good your relationship is / was with your boss thats a rude question and an even worse response 

but hey plan your wedding for your budget and just show her it can be done end of

lolly xx

 

Post # 28
Member
2294 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’d be asking that boss of yours for a RAISE then, since she thought your budget was so inadequate! Sorry that happened to you, OP. She totally overstepped her bounds. You totally do not need a gigantic budget to make a beautiful, special, amazing wedding and everyone (except her) knows that. So rude!

 

Post # 29
Hostess
7941 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@zippylef: Oh goodness keep those people away from me, I can’t imagine what they’d say about my budget!!!

 

While it isn’t anyone’s business of course we all know that people are nosey and they judge. My grandmother has tried to have her hands in everything including knowing how much everything costs. Anytime I mention “oh we have that already” her next question is “how much?” I try to side step the issue by stating it cost “enough.”No one is helping us with our wedding so frankly I don’t know why they are so concerned, it isn’t like they are contributing or we are spending their money!

 

Post # 30
Member
1055 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Meowkers:  I would have said, watch me do it!  It’s not her business at all what you are spending on your wedding and I wouldn’t have told her in the first place.  (Not bashing you as it may sound when you read the comment.  🙂  I would have just said, I am not sure of the total and I need to get back to work..)

Post # 31
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

i get mixed responses to my budget, i’m quiet open to telling people, i get the good luck mine cost triple that and we could have spent more, and wow can you really do it for that little lol, to me £4000 isn’t a little amount of money at all, but mainly i get if i could do it all over again i wouldn’t have spent as much as i did i think you’ve got the right approach. 

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