Vent – sister in law getting a puppy

posted 3 weeks ago in Pets
Post # 2
Member
489 posts
Helper bee

Wooo free puppy for you guys!!

in all seriousness, that does sound super annoying if she normally burdens you with her poor choices. Sounds like you and your husband are handling it with grace.

Post # 3
Member
459 posts
Helper bee

This is a family member that you need to not participate in their crap. I love animals but you do not need to adopt the dog from her if it goes south, unless you really want the dog. Could also help find a new home with someone you know and trust. It sounds like you guys aren’t setting a real boundary if she’s comfortable telling you all these details, and sending 10 pictures and even asking for a ride at all to pick it up. When my sibling got a dog, I didn’t know about it until after because it’s got nothing to do with me. REAL boundaries time. With people like this, everything always works out in the end! Always! Because someone’s always there to pick up the pieces. I think it is more annoying to you because you know deep down there’s not a real boundary that’s keeping her drama separate from your life.

Post # 4
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

You said you’ve set boundaries with her, so there’s really nothing else to be done. I think it’s kind of shitty that you’re already decided she can’t handle the puppy. I’m sure you’re right, but damn. TBH, I’m not sure how this is your problem at all. You have the free will to say no if she wants you to watch it. It seems like you are quite bitter that she doesn’t care about your kids as I am not really sure why that was mentioned in this post. It’s pretty irrelevant to her getting a dog. 

Post # 5
Member
4099 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

View original reply
@Twizbe:  Why should it be your husband’s responsibility to drive her to pick up her own puppy? Her work schedule does not seem conducive to training and caring for a puppy, but maybe she has a plan to take some time off? I think the part about your children seems irrelevant to me, but I’m sorry that it bothers you that she’s not more involved with them. If it makes you feel any better, I have a sibling who honestly never should have had children because she doesn’t have a maternal bone in her body and makes erratic decisions without thinking of how they’ll impact anyone but her. So I get your frustration, but it could be worse. And you’re not obligated to take this pup in if things don’t work out. 

Post # 8
Member
354 posts
Helper bee

Just say no to the puppy. Firm up those boundaries.

And reply to every puppy photo with two child photos and no acknowledgement, lol.

Post # 9
Member
2162 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

I think you should wait for something to actually happen before you melt down like this. I’m sorry she forgot your kids’ birthdays but if she’s actually working 16 hours a day, 7 days a week (🤔) that’s pretty excusable. There are always going to be people in our lives who make poor decisions. Learn to set boundaries so that you don’t have to feel the emotional brunt from the fallout – or even just the potential fallout in this case – every time. 

Post # 11
Member
7551 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Vent away. If it comes to it don’t take the puppy unless you really want the puppy. If she has keys to your house change the locks so you don’t arrive home to a surprise one day. Good luck!!

Post # 12
Member
2894 posts
Sugar bee

Given she doesn’t drive, i hope she has a plan on how she’ll get the puppy to/from the vet, particularly in an emergency situation.

Can you trust her to ensure the dog gets all of the necessary vaccinations?  

Post # 13
Member
4099 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

View original reply
@Twizbe:  I see… So how will she get the puppy to the vet for check ups and vaccinations? Training classes? I hope she has more of a plan than it seems she does

Post # 15
Member
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
@Twizbe:  It’s so funny you posted this. I just had a conversation with my SIL 2 days ago and she has purchased yet another dog. A toy poodle this time. She has rehomed at least 3 dogs that I know about in 6 years. 😡 She’s not abusive…she just likes the cuteness of puppies but not the responsibilities of a dog…and as soon as they get bigger, she gets rid of them. I actually asked my husband if there was an agency to report her to so she could be banned for having pets. So, I understand your rant! I’m with ya!!

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