(Closed) Vent! So hurt but finally have some sort of timeline

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think having all the cards on the table is ALWAYS a good thing. Sounds like it was a blessing in disguise because it seems like you were on different pages.

Plus, i don’t know that asking questions on a vacation would necessarily be a good thing…that could’ve soured it. So it’s best that it’s now out in the open.

Post # 4
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I don’t understand having to wait to put the cards on the table. Why do you have to wait to find out where you are? My honest opinion is it sounds like he’s stalling or a control freak. Sorry to sound like negative nancy. 🙁

Post # 6
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Are you looking for an actual proposal or where the relationship is going and when? I don’t think it’s hard to say, “Hey, I’m busy with law school until May. After Law School we’ll most definitley be getting engaged.” If it’s the actual proposal I understand, but I’m under the impression you’re just discussing it.

Post # 8
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think you guys are doing the right thing by getting all the cards out on the table.  It’s tough to sit down and think about timelines, and even tougher to make a decision for yourself (really important, but tough).  By gauging your reaction to his cruel joke, it’s definitely a good thing.  And try not to be so hard on yourself for bringing it up, sometimes you can’t help it.  

Post # 9
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I also don’t get why you have to wait just to talk about it.  Talking about it can happen any time.  Vacation, it seems to me, would be the least opportune time to have such a serious discussion.

Post # 10
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@lezlers:  I was thinking the same thing..

You already seem sensitive about the whole subject, especially after reading your reaction to the joke.  Why bring up such a serious discussion that could have a negative outcome on a vacation?  It seems like the discussion has potential to ruin a good time… I mean, of course, I hope that there’s GOOD news in the discussion.. but, I wouldn’t be trying to take the gamble.

Post # 11
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@KS240030: Be very cautious about discussing this sort of sensitive topics on vacation. Not only because you could ruin a good time, but because you’re going to be so far away from home and that means out of your comfort zone and very vulnerable, with only him by your side. I’m never going to forget once I had a serious discussion with my Fiance (then BF) while away and I wanted to come back home on my own immediately which of course I couldn’t, I called my best friend from my cell phone cause I really needed to talk to someone and it was sooo expensive, it was a bad experience. Really, it’s a recipe for disaster. Even if he’s going to tell you things you want to hear overall, it’s still a sensitive issue and you guys might disagree in small stuff or you might be resentful. I strongly advice you against it. 

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