(Closed) VENT: Sometimes I do not know how to handle family

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Wow, what part of you cant afford to go don’t they understand? 

and people who have a destination wedding need to understand there may be people who can’t come. 

 

Post # 4
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

swirlyclover86:  No problem 🙂

I still think this isn’t fair, “Just Obey” thats easier said than done when your struggling to make ends meet, and probably emotionaly at the end of your tether. 

She could ask one of her sisters to help coordinate etc. 

Post # 6
Member
2713 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Did you try saying to your mom “ok, should I not pay my rent, my electricity bill or buy food this month so I can afford to go to the wedding?” She and the rest of your family are being extremely unfair.

Post # 8
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

No matter what you tell them your answer (other than Yes, I’ll be there whenever you want for as long as you want wearing what ever you want… You want… You want… You want) will not satisfy them. 

If you can’t afford to go, you can’t afford to go so if it was me I’d call your aunt and mom and say the following “I’ve looked at every possibility of attending the wedding but unfortunately I just can’t afford it. Please accept my regrets and also respect my desision on this matter” if they keep pressuring you repeat the above quote. 

I’m sorry your family can’t accept the fact that you’re not able to attend but why do they feel the need to twist your arm until you cry out “Ok, ok, I really didn’t want to but I’ll go out to the money tree in my backyard and pluck a few hundred off. You want a few for yourself too”.

I hope they back off, especially your mom with telling you to “Obey”. So you should makes yourself afford it no matter what? How? Perhaps a Payday loan with 125% interest or a credit card or selling plasma!!! Sheesh!!!! I’m getting frustrated with your family and I don’t even know them! Good luck sweetie.

Post # 9
Member
927 posts
Busy bee

swirlyclover86:  oh darling, I am hurting for you just reading this. They don’t provide support or help for you to get access to your daughter, you’re a single mum trying to make ends meet (do you have other kids that live with you?) and all they can worry about is this wedding!? 

I’m sorry but I don’t know what to say other than screw them!

Post # 11
Member
521 posts
Busy bee

Wow that is taking on a heck of a lot at the moment for yourself, surely your family and your aunt would understand?

I am dealing with a lot at the moment as a bride-to-be myself, flares with my autoimmunes diseases and with my mom dealing with inoperable cancer and chemo and hospital visits, but NEVER in a minute do I expect help from others or especially demand it, especially not with people in stressful situations and cannot afford it…

That is just unacceptable. Your aunt is a grown woman. A grown woman who is mature enough to get married so she is mature enough to plan a wedding on her own. Expecting help from others, especially in your situation, is not something people “simply” do, its a gift; either tell her to appreciate it and appreciate the situation you are in or tell her how you really feel.

Good luck or if they dont like what you tell them, well thats there problem, not yours~ Look out for you and your daughter first!

Post # 13
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Find that strength you have and deal with the most important issue in your life, you and your daughter. Loving your family doesn’t mean you have to cater to their every whim. Helping your Aunt was an awesome thing to do especially with all the stress you have but there comes a time when you have to take a step back and realize you’ve taken on more than you can handle and its ok to tell her “I’ve helped you as much as I’m able but I have to take care of me”. If you’re not good to yourself how can you be good to anyone else!!

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