- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
A little back story here. My little sister got married last year and the day before her wedding/day of her wedding her and my biological mother made every attempt to exclude my stepmom from helping with anything. She was extreemly hurt and the whole thing ended Jerry Springer style with a huge showdown before the wedding.
Fastforward to my wedding this year. I have made it very clear to both “moms” that i want everyone to get along and that everyone will have a special event to plan and all things will be divided up. The main point of contention is my veil… obviously only one person will be putting it on. Originally my real mom was not going to be present for the getting ready portion of the morning. Recently she changed her mind and now will be with me the morning of the wedding so she will be putting on my veil instead of my stepmom. I let my stepmom know about this and she seemed ok with it. So, today i send out an email with everyone’s tasks for the wedding day and my step mom responded saying that i broke my priomise to include her and that i had hurt her feelings. I am so angry and frustrated right now. I am offended that she is comparing me to my sister and how she treated her. Just for the reccord she will be:
-with my for my hair and makeup trial
-will be planning the bachelorette party
-i am hosting a bridal party spa/brunch the day before the wedding where i will be providing a manicure and pedicure for her
-she will be having her hair and makeup done the morning of the wedding with me (we will be starting at 6:15am , but my mom wont get there until 10:00 so we will have the whole morning together)
-she will be helping with dressing
-she doesnt know about this (she will be presented with a rose during the rose ceremony during our vows)
I dont know what else she wants from me. I wrote her back a long email venting my frustrations which i think might be a little harsh. I am just sick of her making everything about her. She always hijacks the conversation to talk about herself during wedding related activities (ie. the cake tasting, food tasting, dress shopping ect.)
Do you guys have any advice? Was my email to harsh?
I have got to say i am a little shocked at your reaction. By no means are you being exlcuded in any way from anything wedding related in any capacity. I told you a few weeks ago that mom had changed her mind about being there on the morning of the wedding, so it was assumed she would be taking on a traditional role of putting on my veil.
I am not sure what you are referring to when you say “It is what it is, and I understand you are in an awkward situation, but what you said would not happen just did.“
I haven’t excluded you from the day before the wedding, getting ready in the morning or any of the important days leading up to the wedding. I am extremely offended that you would even imply that i am acting in the same manner as Andrea did on her wedding.
For the reccord none of the parents are being required to do a lot of things on the morning of the wedding. I am not sure what it is that you want from me or were expecting, but i have to say that your last email has put an extremly sour taste in my mouth. My last email was meant to be a heads up about important tasks on the day of the wedding and was not intended in any way to rank anyone’s importance on the day of the wedding. I think it is extreemly childish of you to think about it in this way.
I already have a million things that i am trying to organize and worry about. The last thing i need on my plate is one more person imposing their insecurities on me regarding the wedding. I believe i have made it abundantly clear that you are very important to me and that you are playing a large part in my wedding day. I really hope that this last email is not a preview of things to come.