Oh, thank God, I need to vent about something that I’ve been holding in.
SO’s close friend of ours is getting married in a matter of months. However, SO and I are just shocked by the whole arrangement. The girl he’s marrying is 22 (got engaged at 21) and will be married right after her 23 birthday. SO’s friend is our age (25). These two have been dating for 1 year and change before he popped the question. She was still in college and he had just finished schooling to become a Fire Fighter. She comes from a super well-off family. We’re talking having everything handed to her her whole life, always wearing new clothes in every photo, has never had to work, was party of a traditionally expensive sorority, etc. She just graduated recently. Her family is covering the cost of the whole wedding and it is being held at one of the most expensive hotels that you can have a wedding at. Think Four Seasons. She comes from a very religious background, so not only have they been dating for virtually no time at all, but they’re also not living together before marriage. She’s had the audacity to express displeasure when she found out SO and I have been living together longer than they’ve even known each other.
SO and I just checked out their registry and it’s all stuff for her. I’m talking $100 bath mats, a $100 wooden bowl, and a $700 bedding set. Basically, this girl has grown up in a VERY well off family where money was never an issue and the price tag of things doesn’t matter. She’s in a career choice that is notorious for low-paying salaries and while being a Fire Fighter is a wonderful and giving thing, SO’s friend will not be pulling in the money that she’s used to having.
So basically, SO and I are really sad for his friend. We firmly feel that he was pressured into proposing to her so soon (with a huge ring that meant family helped him or he went into debt) and we’re worried for the future he’ll have with her. She’s pretty entitled and doesn’t really understand the reality of money, and we’re worried their relationship will become quickly unhealthy when he tells her he can’t fund the life she’s used to. Everyone in the group views this relationship as so poorly thought out and a train wreck waiting to happen, and because of how religious they both are a divorce would likely never be on the table. She’s been telling people that her invitations alone cost the parents $8,000 (inviting 200+ people) and based on how much weddings cost at the hotel (my friend in events has worked weddings there) her parents are easily forking over $80,000 for this wedding. It just seems like they’re so wrapped up in the fairytale of a perfect luxery wedding but haven’t even thought of what comes AFTER.
Okay, I’m done ranting. It irks me because SO and I are funding our own wedding completely, and while we’re both very comfortable and able to afford a $40,000 if we wanted, we think that’s stupid. So we’re fully prepared for this girl to assume her relationship is above ours because her Dad and Mom gave her a more expensive wedding. She’s been caught saying, “Serious relationships spend serious money on their wedding.” That’s rich, coming from a girl that isn’t going to pay 1 penny towards her own wedding.
Okay, done ranting. If it wasn’t SO’s friend that was marrying this girl, I’d laugh at how ill prepared she is for life and how awful she’ll quickly become to a husband that can’t support her outlandish lifestyle. But since it’s a close friend of ours marrying her, we just feel pity.