Post # 121
Aaaaaacccccckkkkkk. They sound so classically, perfectly, textbook toxic.
Any possibility of entering a witness protection program?
Dear gawd, leaving your precious little girl with any of these people would make you one hell of an irresponsible parent.
Are there ways to minimize contact? Personally, I would dump them like radioactive waste. What is the point? To humor your husband? You and your daughter should be his highest priorities. Fuck the ILs. Absolutely nothing good will come out of contact with these people. It will never get better, Bee.
Let your husband go visit them. Keep your daughter the hell away from them. Covert incest is a thing and these people have very screwed up boundaries. You owe them nothing.
Give up trying to make this work somehow. Protect your baby.
Post # 122
WTAF? She tells you to GIVE YOUR DOGS AWAY?!
Actually, that’s kind of like my now departed “mother” who claimed my dogs were holding me back.
Post # 123
Vent: Calories in do not equal calories out, physics my ass. I can gain in one meal what it takes me two weeks to work off.
On a more serious note, I hate sexist standards perpetuated by other women. My SIL told me I’m ‘lucky’ my husband ‘helps’ around the house. Right now I work more hours than he does! Not that he’s lazy by any means, we just have different busy periods at work and right now I’m working a fair bit of overtime. But my SIL acts like he’s a saint for doing the dishes ‘for me’ even if he’s currently working 40-45 hours a week and I’m working 50-60 and making most of the dinners.
Post # 124
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
O.k so I am on the Herbalife diet and I am sick and tired of drinking these shakes. I want a pound of bacon for breakfast. I want to eat normal again. Ive lost 11 pounds which is awesome. But damn am I hungrey for some food. Just need to be fitted for my dress and maintain my weight. I can do this, I can do this.
O.k. I feel better.
Post # 125
The phrase ‘Is this is the hill you want to die on?’ or any variation of it. I find it incredibly obnoxious and overused, esp on these boards.
Also, when a Bee posts a few paragraphs about an issue she is having with a husband or family member, and all of a sudden Bees start demanding she dumps them or cut off all contact. Sure, in cases of abuse/neglect etc of course. But geez, aren’t other people allowed to have an off day, bad reaction, make a mistake? It’s also only a tiny snippet of a much larger picture. I feel like the reactions on these boards can be more harmful than good sometimes.
Post # 126
I have severe health problems and I really believe life will not improve. I am researching terminal dehydration. I have ODed on over the counter medication, but it did not work.
Post # 127
devoutwoman : I am really sorry you are so unwell and feeling so bad. I have a terminal illness so understand feeling like the only way out is death. Please consider talking to someone about how you are feeling, a friend/spouse/health profession/support line. Sometimes in the darkness we can’t imagine there being any light left.
Post # 128
sassy411 : She does! It drives me up the wall! I do think she is joking to some extent, because she knows I would never give any of them up, but she DOES wish I had less animals. Such an unpleasant way of reminding me she thinks so. 🤦🏻♀️
Post # 129
That’s really awful, Bee and just so much like my own “mother”. It’s truly horrible when your mother, the person who should love you the most in this life, puts energy into locating your Achilles heel so she can poke at it. Terribly cruel.
Post # 130
sassy411 : Don’t worry we don’t let them babysit, the few times they see her is generally with the large extended family (about 30 people) so they have very rarely been around her without many people around and watching.
I wish I could cut them out of my life forever, Darling Husband is even fed up with them and is getting to the point of wanting nothing to do with them. The only reason we really talk to them ever is we like the rest of the large extended family and want to maintain relationships with them but events in that family are always the whole family is invited so we see them then. We also want to maintail a relationship with GMIL but of course she lives next door to Mother-In-Law and SFIL so it’s hard to see her without my IL’s coming over. We also go to the same church (the only one in our city that is ukrainian catholic) and so it’s hard not to see them every week without completely cutting out church.
Thankfully me and Darling Husband are on the same page with wanting to be done with them and being tired of their shit, we maintain the bare minimum contact that we need to. The latest thing is how SFIL has depression and mental heath issues and so I shouldn’t get mad at him because he doesn’t know better and I need to let everything go because me not wanting him to have anything to do with me or my daughter has caused him to shut down and he barely talks to anyone so I need to make things better for him. I’m so fed up with that, I am not going to expose myself or my daughter to that because he has issues, I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to her because I let everything go to make him happy because he has issues.
It’s worrying to me that they think this is perfectly normal and I am being ridiculous for having an issue with it and saying I am uncomfortable being around him
Post # 131
Miss-Mauverick : Ooh, I love food. This must be horrible. If you are lactose intolerant, have you tried the lactose-free milk? Also, goat milk for this matter? The goat milk is not lactose free, but somehow it works for my friend’s child, who is very intolerant to cow’s milk.
Post # 132
sweetale : Yes! I don’t know how I would live without lactose-free milk! Costco carries an organic, lactose-free milk and it’s all we drink in our house. I’ve had the same experience with goats’ milk too! I don’t buy it often but I am obsessed with goats’ milk cheese. I can actually eat it! Trader Joe’s carries a delicious goats’ milk gouda; we keep it stocked in the house at all times.
Post # 133
Background: we had a few close accidents in the snow this winter, and since then my husband has been overly paranoid about winter driving.
Also, I’m 40 weeks + 5 days pregnant, ready to be done, and really hoping to go into labor naturally before our scheduled induction on Tuesday.
The forecast calls for a POSSIBLE 2-4 inches of snow on Saturday, but the high will be in the 40s and it’s likely over-exaggerated. Husband’s response? “Well, let’s hope you don’t go into labor Saturday!” 😶😡 Great, now I have to worry about how much he’ll be stressing out over the weather, in addition to, y’know, going into labor.
Post # 134
sunburn : haha, my sister (firstborn) was right on time, too, and holds true to this day! 😆 My little guy, however, is currently 5 days late and perfectly content in there. 😒
Post # 135
Ugh. A post lately has me back here to VENT about men who think they own the right to a woman’s feelings or future.
Gahhhh… this makes me so furious. It’s worse when you’re in any kind of public job, and these kind of toxic people know your characters, work, or worked with you & somehow think they own the right to you. As if you’re a thing to be grabbed and owned.
I. Hate. This.
I do not have any calm or maturity around this. It sends me straight into fight or flight, and my response to this is invariably: FIGHT. I finally went and trained for years so I could physically protect myself from this kind of CREEP.
Just venting, that post made me want to punch something.
I’ve just gotten to the point where I have no empathy – no compassion – NONE – for a guy who thinks he can stomp all over someone else’s autonomy and life. what kind of monstrous ego does that?! I know, I know- it’s damage – and I just don’t have anything but disgust and contempt for that.
i hope there are counselors out there who actually have the space to deal with and offer healing to these kinds of toxic males. If they can do it, I bow to them.