- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Does anyone else get annoyed when friends who have been in their relationship for considerably less time than you, give you marriage advice? I feel like this has been happening more and more lately.
Fiance and I have been engaged for about 6 months but before that we were dating for more than 5 years, have lived together for more than 4 and had joint finances for more than 3. We are basically as married as two people can be without it actually being legal. Honestly, our wedding is just a formality. Out of all of our friends, we have been together the longest (by years).
Lately, it seems like we’re getting a lot of marriage advice (and I understand that’s natural since we’re getting married next year and all). I normally wouldn’t mind but this advice is primarily coming from someone who hadn’t even been with their husband a fraction as long as I have been with Fiance. I know it’s not all about the length of the relationship but I feel like I should be the one giving her the advice, not the other way around.
Pretty much the only person who irks me is my co-worker/quasi-friend. She has been married for about a year now. Before she got engaged her (now) husband cheated on her and she found out. She was obviously crushed but stayed with him. Soon after (and I mean like a matter of weeks) he proposed to her. As an outsider looking in, it was pretty obvious that the proposal was just a ploy to keep her and it worked. She agreed and about 6 months later they got married. Every member of her family and all of her friends hated the guy. I think most of them have grown to tolerate him now but still. Anyways, a few times a week she gives me some unwanted marriage advice.
I won’t get into specifics but the advice she is giving me is the POLAR opposite of what Fiance and I would actually do. I’ve tried telling her that nothing will change after we are married, it will just be legal, but she refuses to believe that. I don’t know why her advice annoys me so much but it does. Today for instance, we were emailing back and forth about Christmas presents for our families (very productive, I know). I mentioned that I’m not getting anything for Fiance and proceeded to list out what we plan to buy for everyone else. She replied back with “It’s okay not to spend a lot on Fiance before your married”. I don’t know why (maybe I’m just PMSing) but this comment annoyed me. I replied back to her that whether we were married or not, I would still not buy anything for Fiance because we don’t really ever exchange presents (we buy what we want during the year, we don’t wait for a special occasion to buy things). She replied back with “well, that will change once you’re married”. Uh, nope….
I would never in a million years take advice from her because her marriage is SOOO healthy *insert sarcastic eye roll here* but I do understand that she’s just trying to be helpful. I don’t know why but it still irks me. Obviously I’m not going to say something to her about this. I’ll just continue to “uhhuh” and bite my tongue to all of her comments but it still annoys me.
Are any other bee’s annoyed by stuff like this or am I just being a crazy overly hormonal nut-job?
Thanks for reading my ridiculously long vent =)