(Closed) Vent! what have I done wrong???

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do you think it is rude to ask for the name of my guest's guest?
    Yes, you are : (1 votes)
    1 %
    No, you aren't : (84 votes)
    90 %
    somewhere between : (8 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4385 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Ummm… this guest of yours seems way too sensitive about this! I don’t know, maybe he’s particularly sensitive about being single? I don’t think that you did anything wrong!

    Post # 4
    Member
    5179 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Sounds like what you did wrong was invite this person to begin with!

    Post # 5
    Member
    2154 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I’m going to try to put this delicately but precisely. Your friend sounds like a paranoid, contrarian douchenozzle. His behavior confuses me greatly. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    OP, you are entirely correct that it is polite to find out the names of all your guests, including escorts and guests of friends/relatives. We’ve left a little flexibility if someone hems and haws on that (putting “Name + guest” on the bellyband if someone is not yet sure), but you did absolutely nothing wrong.

    @Beluga: +1 to douchenozzle.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Yeah this kid is q DB.  What dude gets so riled up about wedding etiquette??  Every guy I know would give a name and move on with his life.  I would just tell him his only options are to give you a name, come alone, or stay home.  Period.

    Post # 8
    Member
    223 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    i concur with everyone. the guy seems ticked off about something else wrong with his life. lol. nothing wrong with you knowing the name. i asked the single guys coming to my wedding for their guests names and asked them to spell it out so i can get it right on the escort cards. i did not get one peep of complaint from any of them. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    5110 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2011

    In genaral I dont think that knowing the guests name for the place cards etc is rude. That being said I think you should let this one go. For some reason he is very sensitive about who he is bringing. Just put guest on his/hers I think thats really the only way to avoid further drama. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    5118 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I agree with the posters above, dude sounds like a whackadoo. If he’s getting so worked up, he and ‘guest’ can sit at home and have frozen dinners…I would not invite this cranky guy.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2233 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    You did nothing wrong. This guy clearly has some issues beyond this situation so maybe it’s just best to let it go.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2442 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Maybe he does not yet know who he is bringing.  Though I don’t know why he wouldn’t just say that instead of giving you a hard time.  Your wanting to make a seating chart with the person’s name instead of “guest” is perfectly fine.  

    Post # 13
    Member
    575 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    When he said, you should not have interfered in his guest’s privacy, I would’ve dropped it there instead of getting into wedding etiquette with a guy.  Although, he does seem to be overreacting, just leave it as guest and move on.  It does not seem to be worth fighting over.

    Post # 14
    Member
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @Beluga: I’m definitely adding this to my vocabulary. Like right now.

    I agree. He is the one being rude to you. I don’t understand why people keep saying to just deal with it an move on. This is why etiquette is getting so bad, because nobody calls out the people who are doing wrong. There is nothing wrong with you wanting to know exactly who you are inviting- you are the one paying for the seat of the person, the food of the person, etc. I would send him the invitation with just his name on it and tell him that you won’t go into his privacy of a +1 because he doesn’t get one. That’s just my opinion.

    Post # 15
    Member
    5891 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2012

    if he doesnt give you his guest’s name, just dont invite him.  when he asks where his invite is, you can tell him you are still waiting on the information from him.

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