Post # 1
I didn’t know what category to post this in, but I need to vent.
Mr. Takemyhand here has been very laid back and casual about our wedding planning and pretty much left it up to me. I have been very careful to ask him about everything I’m planning, and the important things, like attire, guest lists, invitations, etc, I have always quadruple checked with him.
So last night I am starting to figure out tables and Fiance asks if can look at the projected guest list (basically has everyone we invited except the four relatives of mine that have already said they won’t be able to make it) and he goes, “Where is (we’ll call him) Bob?”. I look at him, blankly and ask who Bob is. Apparently Bob is his best friend that he never talks about and in two and a half years I have never met and of course Fiance says he asked me to add BOB to the guest list! Why wouldn’t he have?! I say he that he has looked at this guest list, added to it, and approved it up until last month. Even two weeks ago he was looking at it as I was gathering addresses and a week ago I was bugging him for the remaining 5 addresses.
So we had our first wedding fight about Bob and his wife. Mostly because I now don’t have enough favours, only have one spare invite that I wanted to keep for us, etc, etc.
I’m so frustrated! Also, because of the extra two, this means we have to add another table to our dinner, which means that we will now, for sure, have to move tables out of the way to have a dance floor which I find exceptionally frustrating. *Bah humbug* 🙁
Post # 3
Your wedding isn’t until the end of July so I’m assuming your invites aren’t going out until the end of May/first of June? I know you said 4 relatives already said they won’t be coming but I’m sure you will have some more “no” RSVP’s and have enough favors, room for tables etc. My wedding is about a week after yours and I know it feel like “crunch time” right now and you are feeling stressed but honestly this is no big deal, it will work out. 🙂
Post # 4
@takemyhand: ” Apparently Bob is his best friend that he never talks about and in two and a half years I have never met” HAHAHA Classic man move. I’m waiting for a couple “Bobs” to come out of the woodwork, too.
Post # 5
@Ballet513: We’re sending them out Saturday and RSVP’s are due the end of June. We need firmish numbers for a variety of vendors, but being a smaller wedding (63 now!) I don’t expect too many more no’s.
@rubybride718: I’m so scared to find the next Bob. I know there is one, but this means I have to make several more invites that won’t look like the originals because they no longer sell the ribbon buckles and ribbon I used for the cover. No one would likely care, but I would!
Post # 6
@takemyhand: My Fiance has “Uncle Bobs”. That relative that in 5 years I have never met but he is SOOO close with and has to invite.
Post # 7
Maybe make a rule about only one Bob? And is it possible to order a couple of extra invites as keepsakes?
Post # 8
We actually just had 4 BOBs (3 have +1 on them) come up the other night. Bob is one of FI’s best friends, but has never mentioned him until now :-/ ??
I have a lot of leeway with seating, favors, and meals so luckily this wasn’t a problem, but still irritating nonetheless when they are “best friends” but you’ve never heard of them until now. I can see how it would bother you.
Post # 9
@takemyhand: Darling Husband tried that with me too, but I was firm in my no. If the person had not walked through my doorway, or had a meal with me, they were not invited, end of story. Darling Husband and I have been together long enough that if in all that time, that person was not important enough to have been invited over, there was no way they were coming to the wedding. Be strong! LOL!
Post # 10
Oh No! I would be so frustrated! Funny how they spring things like that AFTER final counts…
Post # 11
I made the rule with my Fiance that if he hadn’t hung out with the person in the last year (and they were local), they didn’t get invited to the wedding. He has some international friends he invited which I was fine with, especially because he talks to them regularly by email. But he had a friend from HS whom I’ve never met he thought of inviting. And another friend who he bought a Christmas present for in 2010, and hasn’t seen her to give it to her. And she had the balls to ask if she was invited to the wedding.
If he wanted to regularly hang out with the those people and then invite them, fine. But I was not cool with inviting people he rarely (if ever) talks to. I don’t feel our wedding is the time or place to rekindle failing friendships.
Post # 12
This kind of thing is just really annoying. I made my Fiance get all the addresses for his friends he wanted to invite. When I asked him who he wanted to invite he have me like 3 names. Then he handed me a list of addresses for like 10 people. WTH? He suddenly remembered that there were 7 people that HAD to be invited, very close friends I never see him hang out with. It’s a guy thing. I woulnd’t worry about it too much. I don’t think 1 more invite is worth the hurt feelings if you don’t invite someone he deems important.
Post # 13
If I were you, I would order/make a small number of additional (abeit slightly different-looking) invitations and send THOSE to your FI’s last-minute additions, and KEEP for yourself the one perfect one that you have remaining. It is really important that you have one of the ones that YOU love, to keep forever.
Post # 14
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
@Brielle: Good point.
You may want extras anyway- for the photographer to take a photo of (don’t want to give him YOUR copy), and also in case invites get returned. (FSIL’s save the date came back, because neither Fiance or Future Mother-In-Law gave me the correct address for her!)
Post # 15
Oh, boy, I am expecting some Bobs, too…I can only hope there aren’t too many!
Post # 16
@bakerella: *Applause* I wish my Fiance would go for that one. We’re having a relatively small wedding (under 90 will be invited; I *hope* our final numbers will end up at 75 or fewer…), with mostly family to the 1st degree and close friends. But FI’s parents have some requests for family friends I didn’t even know existed until we brought his parents into the guest list conversation. We’ve been together almost 4 years now; I feel like if they aren’t important enough for me to have met them before now, they aren’t important enough to HAVE to be at our wedding. But FI’s a pushover when it comes to his mom, unfortunately. If we have any Bobs when it’s time to actually send out invites I might throw a fit.