(Closed) Vent: What would you do? Should I cancel?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
511 posts
Busy bee

You ought to be allowed to enjoy your wedding. There is a ton of prep in the weeks leading up, too. Will you be able to focus on yourself? Your wedding is your occasion to be happy. If all of these circumstances mess with that, and changing the date fixes it, by all means do it.

Post # 4
3943 posts
Honey bee

The best wedding I have ever been to (besides my own of course) was the wedding that spent the least amount of money. A great wedding is all about the atmosphere, and having a great fun. Having great music and a fun group of guests will make your wedding memorable. Guests won’t compare/remember who spent more money on flowers, or who had the most expensive dress. If they see you and your husband having fun, they will too.  

Post # 5
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@BeeNonymousBee:  If you haven’t signed anything, I would move it up by a few months.  It might cause the friend with money to move his up to though.  Use the weather as an excuse since December is not usually a great time of year for an outdoor ceremony (unless it’s in Florida when December is one of the few “cool” months.)

Post # 6
7219 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@BeeNonymousBee:  I wouldn’t be worried about the comparisons. People know everyone’s situations, more or less, and honestly, regardless of the cost of the wedding I always like them. BUT… 3 weddings in 3 weeks? Yeah. I’d be so sick of it by the time the third rolled around. 🙁 That really sucks for you. Meanwhile, you won’t have time to focus on your wedding, nevermind all your money will be sucked and you won’t be able to cover any emergencies that come up. 

Maybe talk to your super rich friend. Tell him you know he wants his wedding close to yours to accomodate the friend living abroad, but now for financial and timing issues, you’re thinking of moving your wedding date and wanted him to know. Don’t mention the comparisons, but maybe do say you’ll feel burnt out before your wedding and are worried others will, too. Do it just as a courtesy since you know he planned his based on your date. Maybe he’ll be willing to move his to the next weekend, but you can’t really ask him outright. 

Post # 8
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would move it, not because of the comparisons, but because you’ll be too busy attending weddings to work on last-minute stuff for your own.  You could move yours to be just before theirs. 🙂 

Post # 9
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

onHonestly, I’m not sure off the issue! One of my friends has booked her wedding a few weeks before ours and we have booked ours the week before another friends. in my opinion money is ( to an extent) irrelivant! People are coming to celebrate you marry and promise a life together, if you want to cancel it because someone with more money is also getting married – then you are putting way too much on the wedding! There will always be a more expensive wedding, inccidently the best wedding I’ve been too was held in her parents house ( that’s rare in the UK) and why was it the best? Because it was my best friend and everything was made by friends, cake, dress, music ( they are musicians) it poured and we were outside, there were dogs running around and only 1 toilet… Its was an amazing day, because everyone that loved them were there, I’ve also been to a millionaire wedding- nothing special at all! Money doesn’t matter and you shouldn’t compare your wedding to anyone elses, and the people that do, well then they shouldn’t be there

i hope this doesn’t read harsh and of course when my friend booked her wedding day a few weeks before mine, i was worried that it would be better than mine, but it wont! It will ne great and their best day and mine will be my best day and the whole point of a wedding will have been achieved – i will be married to the man i love! Do i dare suggest that you might not be ready to be married if you are considering calling it off for such a reason?


Post # 12
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

@Bostongrl25:  +1. One of my DH’s best friends got engaged after us, and they set a date very close to ours. They had a $60,000 budget (!!!). We have tons of friends in common. I was so worried everyone would compare their wedding to ours – I knew it would be a WHOLE lot fancier, and that friend even bragged about the expensive open bar and gourmet 5-course meal for months before their wedding. But in the end, our low-key, much lower budget wedding was super fun, and a lot of guests told us it was the most fun wedding they had ever been to. We didn’t have fancy food (in fact to be honest, the dinner served at our reception wasn’t all that good). Our bar ran out of liquor pretty quickly. Things went wrong. But people still had a great time, in the way that chair covers and fancy centerpieces and expensive DJs and favors and photobooths can’t provide.

Post # 14
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@BeeNonymousBee:  i must admit, i didn’t read it all ( reading on iphone on bus) i did try and amend my response but couldn’t

i see your dilemma, as someone with 6 wedding in 2 months i actually think it’ll be fine! I wouldn’t worry about guests getting tired, but then i love weddings, the most i have to travel is an hour and a half to the weddings, which isn’t too bad!

Post # 15
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MexiPino:  +1.

OP, if I were you I would try to move it (if it really is a lot of the same crowd coming) to another date if it won’t be too expensive. worries of wedding fatigue would totally stress me out too!

Post # 16
6215 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

Just try to make your wedding the best it can be. People remember how much fun they had, not how expensive the flowers are or how nice the table linens are. If you compare yourself to everyone all the time, you will ultimately be disappointed, so don’t think about it. 

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