(Closed) Vent! What's with people inviting other people to weddings/showers?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Some people are just clueless about how this stuff works.  It’s really frustrating!  Just make sure to be straight forward with them.  You want to try to prevent it from getting out of hand!

Post # 4
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We did run into this a little bit – but it ended up being from people who have no concept of weddings and anything that’s involved with them. Still no less frustrating though, haha!

Post # 5
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Just graciously say, we haven’t finalized the guest list yet. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
46670 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

People are simply not being taught etiquette by their parents or else they have completely forgotten what they learned. Note to self- teach my own children.

I would just respond-“We would love to invite everyone but we will have to wait and see what the venue dictates”. Don’t mention the budget as there will always be someone who offers to pay their own plate or even pay for others to attend.

Post # 7
Member
986 posts
Busy bee

We have one person who is determined to come, however they’re the +1 of a wedding party member. So basically, if you and said wedding party member break up, you aren’t coming… I have yet to get the can so and so come, so crossing my fingers I don’t get any of those. 

Post # 9
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Budgeting in Seattle:  I did this so much! It really worked out ๐Ÿ™‚ Or, if people tried to add others, I would say the list was set and we couldn’t budge. ๐Ÿ˜›

Post # 10
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I sent my FI’s mom a list of names that I needed addresses for, and she responded a few days later with the addresses and a few extra names “that she would like me to invite”. I promptly told my Fiance to “fix this now” because it was NOT going to happen. He spoke with her and all is well. He told her that our venue only allows us to have a certain number of people, and since we are paying for it, we’d be inviting those whom are closest to us.

Post # 12
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Madi.So.Excited:  LOL!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ I absolutely adore “fix this now,” comment. I will be doing the same as his family would like to invite every black Irish family in the western hemisphere. 

Post # 13
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Some people just don’t seem to know better. Cut it off now by just saying “sorry, we are really tight on space”. 

Post # 14
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m running into it left and right! FI’s mom (who I don’t get along with) is bad at this. I  caught her asking Fiance if her brother and his wife and their adult children (I don’t even know if their adult children have children) could come. I spoke very loudly “If she’s paying for them to come they can come!”

I just found out last night that my brother thinks his mom’s side of the family is invited… uh, no. His mom doesn’t get along with my mom because she is still jealous of my mom.

Post # 15
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I posted this earlier and I will forever swear by it. My mom, whose wedding was usurped by her folks as the only girl, has been fighting for me before there is a fight to be had. 

You and Fi set your guest cap number. List everyone ever you want to invite. Subtract that from your total and divide evenly between the two sets of parents. If you get shit tell them it is a venue fire hazard thing. If you mention cost somebody will be willing to drop $40…as if that would ever compensate an extra guest anywhere but like O’Charleys…but will treat you like scum for accepting said funds. Avoid the headache!

Make sure they know any rules you may have (a.k.a no kids)Put your foot down and keep it down. 

Post # 16
Member
3305 posts
Sugar bee

I believe people ask because they want to go with someone they are familiar with, even if they know the bride or others at the wedding/shower. That is why I gave folks plus ones to my wedding and let them bring whom ever they feel comfortable with. Most people wouldn’t bring a guest to the shower though because that person wouldn’t want to buy the bride, whom is essentially a stranger, a gift. Many people we invited declined my shower but are coming with their plus ones to the wedding.

The topic ‘Vent! What's with people inviting other people to weddings/showers?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors