(Closed) Vent: When you get a job and other people rain on your parade

posted 6 years ago in Career
Post # 3
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you need to just stay strong in your convictions and knowledge that you’re right for the position, and move on. There will always be naysayers and jealous people. When I got my first job out of grad school, I beat out a candidate that had been hand selected by one of the other managers. She wasn’t very nice to me in the beginning! But, you keep your nose to the grindstone, do a good job, and live your life.

Post # 5
412 posts
Helper bee

I would walk through your qualifications with him. Be like, look here is the job posting (vs what these other people “feel” should be in the posting), and while you know all about my work in x area, do you realize that my work in y area is also super relevant, and that i’ve accomplished a, b, c, and d for that? give him your cv to read over. Because honestly, I would guess that he’s worried he won’t know how to “defend” your hiring to other people. He really shouldn’t have to, but wouldn’t you rather he also be able to answer other people (who won’t come to you) with all these awesome reasons of why you deserve it? He doesn’t get it right now, and that sucks, but it’s fixable. Hopefully after you guys have a talk about how awesome you are and why you truly were the best candidate, he’ll be all set to sing your praises to anyone who makes a snide comment. 

Post # 6
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think your husband has a legitimate concern. In business ethics, often it’s not actually doing something unethical that you have to fear, but rather, doing something or even just being in a situation where others could get the PERCEPTION that something unethical has occurred is what can be a problem. If you don’t fit the perception of the best candidate for a job and others could perceive — even wrongly— that your husband has used his influence to help you land that job, then he needs to be prepared to answer.

I’d suggest he first talk to his boss or the other board members, and as openly as possible, like in a regular business meeting instead of over drinks. He should acknowledge the possibility for people to misconstrue how you got that job, and remind his colleagues that he was not involved in the hiring process. He should then ask for their recommendations as to how to refute any tough questions or rumors. This helps get everyone on the same page, especially if it’s a case where another board member hears a rumor— now they have a standardized, factual response.

And for you, I’d say to try to understand that workplace ethics can be very complicated, and it’s generally better to not take these things personally, but to always be aware of how something completely innocent can be easily misconstrued by an onlooker. It’s very important to see where your situation could possibly be mis-understood, and tackle it head-on. It’s way better to explain yourself from the start rather than letting people form their own opinions.

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