(Closed) VENT- Why can’t we pick a flippin’ date??!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

It took me a good 8 months to pick a date 🙂

We come from two different countries, and both re-located to live in two different states within the USA, then met each other in a university in his state. Our biggest issue was WHERE so we could never pick when. The date kept being pushed and changed etc.

My best advice is just pick on and go for it! (make sure it works with I29 F and family so they can come! )

Post # 4
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You are not in this boat without a paddle alone!  I’m sitting right next to you!

Post # 5
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Pick 2-4 dates that are okay with you.  Then let him decide which of those 2-4 dates is okay with him.  WIN-WIN!

Post # 8
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@SugerPlum:  Oh the dart game is tempting. We were bordering dates in a hat and picking one lol. I hear ya , I always just wanted a FLIPPIN date so I can shut all the people up and get myself in the zone 😉

Post # 9
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We picked some dates, ran them by immediate family only (because it’ll be right around potential graduations, etc, and we want our families there) and then chose. But some people have more complicated. 🙁 

Planning was kinda stressful for me until I knew when and where just because there were so many possibilities and unknowns. Hope you guys resolve that part so you can get to the fun things!

Post # 11
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I know a lot of people who have dealt with immigration issues prior to getting married, and I have to say – I think an 8 month window to get immigration stuff done is woefully optimistic.

I think you would be better off having a lower key event that doesn’t have strict venue date rental requirements. That way, you can work around the immigration status. That is what my cousin and his fiance are currently doing – a small ceremony with 30 people in a beautiful public park and a reception at home. They were able to wait until they had definite deadlines for the immigration stuff before making plans/being out deposits as things dragged on.

Post # 12
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We don’t have an immigration issue, but just an indecisive Fiance.

Post # 13
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@SugerPlum: Now give him a timeline.  If he doesn’t pick one of those 6 dates by a certain date then you get to pick the date all by yourself.

Post # 14
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m so sorry!  I have never been in that situation so I have no advice to offer….but I offer support Laughing

Post # 15
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

On one hand I can understand your frustration. When it came to picking a date for our wedding EVERYONE wanted their flippin’ say….and often ridiculous reasons were thrown up (from my fiance’s side) things like there were “too many weddings” in 2012 so we would have to change the year, we wanted September 2012 and apparently that was too close to my fiance’s cousins (unconfirmed) wedding in October the same year, and the best one yet….Future Sister-In-Law needed more time to plan her outfits, and especially if there was going to be 4 weddings next year with 2 so close together…it would apparently be impossible. But we went aheand and have gone with September. In all fairness we’re having 2 ceremonies and it looks like the one for their side will be moved forward to May or June now, but we stuck with September for our legal one.

On the other hand though, I don’t think moving it by a few weeks to a month is too bad. Annoying yes, and it’s probably more “oh just pick a flippin’ date already!” but if you can set a date in April (like an actual date – not just a rough estimate) would that be so bad? I would have considered moving my legal wedding to October (as a lot of places charge extra for venues between June and September), the only reason I didn’t was because of the cousins (possible) wedding being in October.

If you could 100 percent book and stick with a date in April wouldn’t that be better than a rough estimate in March?

The topic ‘VENT- Why can’t we pick a flippin’ date??!’ is closed to new replies.

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