(Closed) *Vent* Why is it so easy for some people?!?

posted 8 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@AIBHLINSHANA: My Fiance and I are having the exact same problem. Exactly the same. His cousin got pregnant and is due very soon, and she just got engaged a month after us and I’m pretty sure that’s only reason she did is because they’re pregnant- which, IMO is a horrible reason to get engaged/married. We’re pretty untraditional so we’ve been TTC for *sigh* 9 months, and still nothing 🙁 yet everyone around me including 2 very close friends who were not trying, all had their babies this summer and I just wish I had them too 🙁 

As a side note, we didn’t start TTC because our friends got pregnant, as they didn’t tell anyone till they were 7months, so that made it more frustrating, I think. 

Hopefully we all get pregnant soon!!!


Post # 4
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

haha..I know, it seems ridiculous how easy it comes for some people, but I really think it’s just “luck”….if that’s what you want to call it for two people who weren’t prepared but, I mean more towards the aspect of sperm meets eeg.

We were NTNP for 6 months too and it seemed like forever, I, at first, refused to try to hard at it…thinking it would be easy..but when you see that 6 month mark come along it’s like WTH!! I was on bc for 10 years, came off it to find my periods and cycles to be completley different than they had ever been my entire life. cycles fluctuating between 22 and 28 days….I even had one random 40 day cycle in there too. When we decided to stop using all forms of BC, I figured just lots of sex whenever we can should do the trick….well, it didn’t. I had no idea when I was ovulating, so really every month we were taking many shots in the dark, =) on my 6th cycle I decided to order the OPK’s as an experiment to see when in my cycle I am surging….I didn’t plan on using them until I cocieved, just out of curiousity.

Well, that cycle my surge came on CD 16, when I had been estimating it between CD 10 and 14….so we did the BD thing and I found on on CD 28 that I was pregnant. Wow, that was NOT easy…for many they say when you stop trying and stressing it will happen, but for me it was the opposite. When I got more informed about my body it happend. 

But you know what it doens’t jsut happen so easy for the irresponsible and unprepared…while I was ttc, I heard sooo many stories of married people who got pregnant the very first time they had unprotected sex and it was just soooo frustrating!! lol

Anyways, I know how you feel…just know there are others trying and succeding within a year…and that your little one will be worth the wait. 

Post # 5
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@AIBHLINSHANA:  I know a couple of friends who had trouble conceiving for a while after going off The Pill. And then had healthy babies. (But of course the pill may not have been the problem anyway). I don’t see this to scare you, only to say that it can take your body a while to sort itself out after going off The Pill (if that’s what it was). And as far as TTC goes, 6 months isn’t really that long. ((Hugs)).

EDIT: I guess I’m trying to say, if you’ve been on the pill and your cycles were all over the place, then I wouldn’t have expected you to get pregnant in the first few months anyway, so the first few months of trying “don’t count”.

Post # 6
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Please know you are not alone. I really can sympathize with you.


DH and I are high school sweethearts. We’ve been together since we were 15 and got engaged at 19. Around the time we got engaged in February of 2009, I started going baby -crazy, though I ultimately did not want to start TTC until after we were married. Originally, we had planned to get married in October of 2010, but family issues beyond our control arose, and we decided to postpone our plans.

By the time we finally got married in October of 2012, multiple friends and acquaintances had gotten pregnant/given birth, which made me quite envious, but what really got to me the most was finding out that my younger brother and his girlfriend, both 18 at the time, were expecting their first child. My niece was born about a month and a half before DH and I got married. She is now one. I love her very much, but as ashamed as I am to say it, her presence always causes me to feel sorry for myself; these emotions constantly make me feel pathetic and borderline awful.

It wasn’t long after DH and I became husband and wife that we started TTC (January 1, 2013 to be exact). For almost two years prior, we had merely been using the “pull-out method,” and I have never been on birth control. I honestly had no idea it would take us this long to conceive. It’s very frustrating. No one in my family ever had to try. My mother and grandmothers all got pregnant on their first time trying, and it only took one careless night for my niece to be conceived.

Before we went ahead TTC, I went through texts and exams, all of which came back normal. I started taking prenatals and recommended supplements, and around 4 months TTC I began temping, which didn’t work for me, and after 3 months of doing so, I called it quits. Now, we simply BD very frequently. We try to limit the stress – easier said than done… And, as we promised each other before we began our TTC journey, we have not made sex merely about having a baby.

I guess all we can each do is hope and pray. I do still have faith, and I wish with all my heart that you and I, and anyone else in this situation find luck. May we all become mothers very soon!

Post # 7
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I can sympathise – it took us 15 months and the help of a naturopath to get pregnant, while multiple friends got pregnant AND had their babies in the meantime. One thing I learnt though, was that everyone had their struggles somewhere along the line – one of those ladies had a miserable pregnancy and post-natal depression, found out another friend had already had 3 or 4 failed ivf cycles (and still hasn’t had any luck, while I’m two weeks off meeting my little girl). 

I know it’s hard, but feelings of jealousy are never helpful, especially when it sounds like this couple are going to do things TOUGH!!

All the best – sounds like you need to get your cycles under control, or at least try tracking them so you can see what’s going on. Unfortunately we’re often led to believe getting pregnant is a lot easier than it actually is for many of us!! You’re certainly not alone in this.

Post # 8
3441 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m sorry. I’ve been there. I became secretly very bitter and started blocking everyone on facebook cause I kept hearing about people who got pregnant, especially unplanned babies. DD took us a year and compared to a lot of the girls on here, that is quick. But timing couldn’t have been more perfect. DH’s business picked up and I got laid off at 8 months (great package) and I was able to be a Stay-At-Home Mom to a beautiful little girl. It is really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel but I promise it’s there. Hang in there. 

Post # 9
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

 Oh wow do I get this. omigod I just had my own pity party for myself this weekend because of it…


DH and I have been married since last November and we were NPNT since our honeymoon. Nothing. In May we started charting and actively TTC. Nothing. I’m beyond discouraged and petrified something is wrong and all of my friends either got pregnant on the 1st or 2nd try or they had an “oops” or they don’t want kids which leaves me with no one to commiserate with or anyone who really gets where I’m coming from. It makes you feel completely out there and alone hoping for something that seemed to come naturally for everyone else but you.


It’s even more upsetting for me because, like you, I want my children to know certain people in my life, even if its fleeting, and our grandparents (my DH’s and my own) are those people. they are in their 80s and we know that our children might not know them for long but we’d still  like that for them.


Lots of positive thoughts and baby wishes to you. Just know you aren’t alone on that limb.


Post # 10
1838 posts
Buzzing bee

Every woman’s body is different. Your body may still be adjusting from the birth control, even if you weren’t on it for that long. It has only been six months. Just give yourself a break. Continue to have sex, but stop stressing about. Stress will just make conceiving more difficult. 

Remember, fertility has to do with health and age, not material things or what kind of relationship you’re in, so there’s no sense in getting mad at or jealous of people who are expecting, even if you don’t think they should have a child. Nature doesn’t work that way.

You may not be pregnant as soon as you want to be, but that doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen. Be patient, try to reduce stress, enjoy being intimate with your husband. 


Also, it just seems like the people who shouldn’t have children or aren’t ready for them are the ones that get pregnant the easiest, but that’s not true. They just did it at the right time and nature did what it does. The same thing happens to people who want children and are ready for children just as much, or more, than you. It’s nothing to get mad at or be jealous of. 




Post # 11
7813 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@AIBHLINSHANA:  I’m sorry you’re going through this. The grass isn’t always greener though. We ended up getting pregnant and miscarrying twice while I was on birth control pills. I later found out that pregnancies while you’re on the pill often results in miscarriages, birth defects, etc. I am always worrying that it will happen again before I want it to. I’m sure the folks in your story who barely knew each other and had a broken condom aren’t exactly counting their blessings.

We never know why things happen for some people and not others, why some alcoholic smokers live until they are 90 and healthy people die at 60. We can’t understand it and it doesn’t always seem fair, but you never know what someone else is going through. From what I understand 6 months isn’t that long to be actively trying so I really do feel there is a lot of hope for you. Maybe you could go to your doctor and see if there is any prelim stuff that can be done.  

Post # 12
2001 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’ve never struggled TTC, but anytime I had bouts of baby fever before I was emotionally or financially ready for a child, and saw irresponsible people getting knocked up left right and center, it made me feel better to remind myself that the universe doesn’t have some finite number of babies to go around.  Your dumb cousin’s pregnancy doesn’t reduce or have any bearing whatsoever on your chances of getting pregnant, which, I think are still pretty good considering that it can take several months for your body to regulate itself after quitting BC.

Post # 13
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Oh sweetie,i know exactly where you are coming from. We are currently on year three of trying,along with tests and investigations and we still don’t know whats fully going on yet. It is so hard for others to understand, and there’s not many people you can talk to about without sounding like a crazy person!

just remember,what you are feeling is OK.you are not a horrible person for feeling the way you do. No matter how long this process is for anyone,it is difficult,frustrating, and hard.

sometimes i feel like it will never happen for us and as heartwrenching as that is,every day it gets a little easier to process and deal with it.

And remember,although stress is never hugely helpful it will not prevent you from being able to get pregnant. Anyone who says “just relax and it will happen” happily gets a withering look and an eye roll from me.

Remember to take any concerns you may have to your doctor,and good luck!

Post # 14
7039 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

An 18-year old is in the prime of their fertility. That’s largely why it’s so much easier. Their eggs are in better shape and more likely to develop when fertilized than a woman older than them. And some people will have issues because of health problems etc that are more prevalent as they age, etc.

Honestly, I find it insane to be jealous of a teenager pregnant by some random guy she doesn’t know. I’d rather be childless and barren than be in her shoes.

Post # 15
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You are not alone!!! I feel the same way. DH & I have been TTC for 4 months – OPKs, temping, etc. No luck yet. My SIL had a baby in the meantime, and my best friend (who’s 5 years older than me at 36) just got pregnant on her first month TTC.


Post # 16
3479 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@AIBHLINSHANA:  Those damn fertile teenagers. I seriously know so many girls under 22 who have gotten pregnant after having sex just a few times. They all had abortions but UGH.

I’m sorry, lady 🙁

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