“He may be really comfortable as things are and not want to commit to you further because he is getting everything that he wants as it is.”
Yes, that’s exactly what it seems like. I live with him, he has me already and there’s no urgency on his part to get me to commit because he knows I’m not going anywhere.
“However, have a serious discussion with your SO. Does he really not see himself marrying you?“
I’ve tried having a serious discussion. He pretends to be asleep, or suddenly finds something important to do that requires leaving the room, or simply just says “I don’t know” in response to everything and complains about being put on the spot. The closest thing to a decent answer was when I said “Are we ever going to get married!!” and he said “I don’t know – probably”.
“If other people are ready to marry their SO afther 10 months, then that’s them. Were you ready at 10 months?“
Yes, actually. When you’re happy with someone, you know it. I decided even before our first anniversary that I was happier in this relationship than I’d ever been before and I wanted to stay with him. But time has passed since then, he obviously doesn’t feel the same about me, so now I feel less sure about being loved and happy.
“If he “has not decided whether he loves you to stay” it is time for you to walk. Has he actually said that to you, or are you assuming that?”
I suppose I’m assuming. He says he loves me but his actions (and the lack of a proposal) suggest otherwise.
“I think you should definitely move out and let him see what it’s like without you.”
He knows I can’t. My sister (who I lived with previously) moved several hundred miles away to get married, so I moved in with my SO because I had no other options. I don’t earn much money, I can’t afford to live on my own and I have nowhere else to go (especially with my cat, who isn’t welcome anywhere because all of the roommate advertisements say No Pets). He knows I can’t leave, which probably contributes to his lack of urgency in terms of marriage. This is also why I haven’t walked out to let him see what life is like without me – I literally have nowhere else to go.