(Closed) vent/advice I was fired as a bridesmaid!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

There seem to be lots of posts on here from brides who are upset that somebody close to them has scheduled their own wedding for near the same date. The brides seem to think that doing this steals focus from their wedding. Maybe she is upset about that?

Personally, I think that it’s a stupid thing to be upset about. The only problem I can see with it is the fact that it could screw up honeymoon plans. Do you think this might be the case with her?

Post # 5
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

She may be mad at you for scheduling your wedding two weeks after hers… at least it wasn’t two weeks before! I don’t think you should end your friendship over it, but you should probably talk to her and call her out on the fact that her excuses are BS. When is the wedding, it seems like this must be soon?

Post # 6
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I do think it’s rude to demote someone from being a bridesmaid when they clearly want to be part of the bridal party. She chose you because you are close friends, so I don’t see why she’s changing her mind now. You should have a talk with her and let her know how disappointed you are feeling. Maybe then she will get to the real reason behind her decision. 

Post # 9
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@thirstywife: Hmm, weird. Has she ever seemed like she was jealous of you? Maybe she was secretly enjoying some silly idea that she was better because your baby was going to be born out of wedlock?

Or maybe she doesn’t want two pregnant women in the photos? I know it seems crazy, but again, we get posts on here from brides who are upset about their bridemaid’s appearance ruining their photos. Or another example, my Japanese SIL (sister-in-law) didn’t want my brother’s friend to bring his Japanese girlfriend to their wedding because she thought two white male and Japanese female couples would look bad in pictures.

Post # 10
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Very weird… I was thinking maybe now that she’s prenant, she realized just how tired she actually is, and is trying to let you off the hook?  But yeah… if she’s pregnant too, she’s probably not having a wild stagette, and you should be able to keep up with her just fine.  As for standing, that seems like another “good for the goose is good for the gander’ kind of thing.

My only thought is that she’s having a sudden “you’ll wreck my pictures” panic.  Or thinks she’ll just look fat while you have a cute prenant belly.

I’m reaching waaaaaay to the depths of my shallowness here, so I hope you’re not offended!

Post # 11
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

I think its crap that she threw her Fiance under the bus for her decision and kicked you out on facebook. I don’t understand how she thinks you wouldn’t be up to your duties when she too will be pregnant. Obviously her bachelorette party will have to be tamed down because she is pregnant.

The whole thing is wierd and kind of shady. I get the feeling there are underlying reasons for you being asked to step down. I would ask her for a reason as to why you were kicked out. I think she owes you a real explanation, in person.

Post # 14
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@thirstywife: I think it’s a good idea to talk to her face-to-face. Things can get all twisted in text or even over the phone. Maybe you can come up with a reason for the visit other than to talk this out though, because coming for the sole reason of you’re upset might seem quite confrontational.

I hope she’s not jealous, or if she is, that she can get over it. Maybe you can make her focus on how nice it will be to be able to have your kids grow up at the same time. Also, you could try saying nice things about her wedding and ring etc. in case that helps her feel less jealous.

Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

to me it seems like she is just making up excuses for not wanting you to be in the wedding. It could possibly be that she didn’t like that you picked a date so close to hers. However, on that note, she only gets one wedding date, not a wedding month! It does seem that she’s hiding the real reason and for the sake of your friendship, you two should both address it. You’re good friends, and I hope you can work it out!

Post # 16
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

@thirstywife: Just showing up at her house randomly would be confrontational. lol Call her up and invite her to lunch. Maybe being around others will help to keep everyone’s emotions in check. I truely think you deserve a real reason as to why you were asked to step down. I think she owes that to you especially after initially doing it on facebook.

Maybe say ” I was a little hurt when you told me I was no longer in your wedding party. I’m not sure why, did I do something wrong?” MAybe that will guilt her into telling you even though you really want to say “What the hell, dude? What did you kick me out for!?” lol

Really its up to you if you even want  an explanation. I personally would.

The topic ‘vent/advice I was fired as a bridesmaid!’ is closed to new replies.

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