(Closed) Venting

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
18641 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

That’s so frustrating!  I don’t understand why someone would have to plan their wedding so close to yours, especially when guests would have to travel to attend either wedding.  I think that she is probably hurting herself, since I’m guessing some people may have already made plans to go to your wedding.

Post # 4
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Wait, how is she choosing your relatives over you? It’s HER wedding…and when you plan a wedding, do you not accept the fact that some of the people you would like to have with you probably won’t be able to attend? I think you need to take a deep breath and calm down. You get one day. She gets one day. She has the right to choose whatever date, for whatever reason–just as you did.

Post # 5
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Can you talk to her about this; maybe she will change her date to later, since that was what she was originally planning. If she keeps the same date and you are not close to her, I wouldn’t change the honeymoon plans. Your plans were in place first, so you shouldn’t have to accommodate her.

Post # 6
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I understand the vent, but I gotta say, I’m with Statutory Grapes. You’re entitlted to your feelings so vent away, but know that what you’re saying is unreasonable: “I choose this date AND a two week buffer period before and afterwards during which time no one I know is allowed to get married” ???

And the imposition of her getting married close to your date is an imposition to your Out of Town guests and relatives, who presumably have to travel to your wedding and then hers; I think it’s a stretch to say that she set that date knowing you couldn’t come. I couldn’t tell you when any of my friends went on their honeymoons and I was IN most of their weddings! If you already set up your honeymoon, then don’t go to her wedding; if you haven’t and you are close, go and then take your honeymoon later.

Post # 8
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@doriable: I don’t think she was saying it to be hurtful. I think she was being considerate of the fact that you’ll be on your honeymoon and therefore won’t be able to come. Like I said before, it’s her day–she can pick whatever date she wants. =/

Post # 9
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Grapes and I are on the same wavelength, I think b/c I read it the same way–I think she was telling you so that it DIDN’T seem like she overlooked you. There was probably some other reason why she chose the date she did.

Take some time to put it in perspective becuase there are a lot of other people and factors that she probably had to take into account when she decided on the date. Choosing a date for the sole reason that someone WON’T come is kind of insane–I mean, she’d really have to hate you to do that. If you care about this relationship, you might think about holding out the olive branch and offering to have her and hubby over for dinner after you get back from honeymoon–come on, you can rehash crazy wedding stories (there’s always a few) over your requisite incomplete china sets.

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