(Closed) Venting

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

You’re upset because your Fiance isn’t helping you and causing you to stall on planning?

If you haven’t booked anything or done any concrete planning and your Fiance doesn’t want to help or encourage you to do so, you may need to have a serious conversation with him about what his expectations are regarding your wedding and marriage.  You two clearly aren’t on the same page about what you want to happen and when.

Post # 4
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I think that guys have the “I’ll rent the tux, just tell me where to be and what time to be there” mentality and really don’t know how to help! 

My suggestion?  I would offer three venues to consider.  Three color schemes that you like, three invitations, three of everything and ask if he likes any of them rather than saying “What do you want” and being generic about it.  It could be he doesn’t know what he wants OR he wants to make you happy and doesn’t want to give you a wrong answer.

Maybe if you break it down for him (as I said, 3 venues, color schemes, etc.) it will be less overwhelming for him?  Give it a try.  Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i know when we first got engaged i would ask my Fiance to be involved but the fact was his care factor was zero, he was happy to be told when and where and if i was happy he was happy – i learnt this after i had a major meltdown over stationary, i wanted his imput on 2 different shades of blue and all he saw was blue and blue

i suggest you go forward and make plans, tell him what you have decided and if he has any comments/imput/issues ask him to speak up otherwise lock it in and move to the next item

goodluck!

 

Post # 7
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Just kick yourself into gear then and get working on it, or you’ll be running out of options for a June wedding.

My Fiance cares about specific things about the wedding and nothing else.  He cared about the venue, which he helped decide on (after I did all the research and set up viewings). He cares about the food and the guys’ suits, and the favors, the ceremony, and he sort of has opinions about invites.  Everything else is ‘my thing’ and he doesn’t care and i don’t bother him with it (like flowers, table numbers, timeline.

I would suggest asking him what he does and doesn’t care about and then just moving forward, if he really just wants to get married and you really don’t care about the wedding, then do something small and keep it simple.

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