(Closed) Venting about bridezilla

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 76
Member
1162 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

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sunflower22:  Oh hell yes I would back out a day before.  You betcha I would.

Post # 77
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Update from the wedding? 

Post # 78
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Yes, update!

FWIW, I can’t summon any sympathy for the OP. She had so many opportunities to say no but was completely spineless throughout the whole thing. It’s hard to feel sorry for people who won’t help themselves…

Post # 79
Member
7308 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope 

Post # 80
Member
451 posts
Helper bee

I think the OP does sound like an amazing friend. Too bad the bride did not recognize this, and won’t have her as a friend any longer. If she’s really lucky, the OP will still be an aquaintance in whom she can sometimes confide. 

Post # 81
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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karamellokoala:  I think this is a bit harsh, not everyone is able to stand up and fight or wants to. She is a softer soul and just wants to feel she has done right by the bride and her reputation is intact. She isn’t an awful person for keeping to her own principles even though they may make us all smack our heads as we want the bridezilla not to get away with her outrageous behaviour. I DO wish she would say no I won’t pay either I generously pay the piano peice for you as a gift and you pay the organist or you pay for both – and tell the organist not to put a hand on her own pocket. Also tell her she has been incredibly rude throughout the process and she herself is extremEly upset.

Post # 83
Member
1292 posts
Bumble bee

No, don’t let it go. Remember how crappily this person treated you and your friends, family and colleagues, and let the friendship fade into the background. And the next time someone tries to walk all over you, stand up for yourself. 

Post # 84
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Friendship is actually not complicated. Friendship is really really easy. Complicated friendships are things you need to let go of because if you’re not enjoying it, you’re not really friends.

Post # 85
Member
675 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Thanks for the update OP! Glad that the day was drama-free and that the groom’s father tipped appreciatively to your ILs. At least he’s thankful for the help and service. I feel sorry that you ended up really paying for both the pianist and organist (really horrible bride!).

But I hope you’re really going to dump this “friend” once and for all. Letting her walk all over you once may lead you to forgive and forget, but letting her walk all over you twice and more, there’s really no point in forgiving anymore (I’ve learned this the hard way). Nonetheless, all the best to you, bee!

 

@lmo013: so true!

Post # 87
Member
6939 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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sunflower22:  Well…no one has called her out on her bad behavior. I’m glad the wedding went smoothly and you had a good time. But it seems like you’re expecting your friend to have some sort of epiphany that she’s been a jerk and change her ways. But since she got everything she wanted anyway, I don’t see that ever happening. In fact, I think it actually reinforces her idea that you can treat people any way you want and you’ll still come out fine in the end. 

Post # 88
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

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sunflower22: Oops sorry I just saw the last few posts. 

Let me revise that. 

Don’t be her friend. Just, don’t. 

  • This reply was modified 5 years ago by windowlulu.
Post # 89
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

A couple of quotes to remember all this.

“Fool me once, shame on them, Fool me twice…shame on me”.

“Give out second chances but never anymore. If a person can’t learn from their first mistake they likely can’t learn from making the same mistake thereafter”.

I have been put in a situation where I was the doormat and it was my fault for letting someone treat me like that. The one thing I took away from the situation was this,

What I don’t understand is how a person can tell you so many lies and never feel bad about it

In your case you need to never speak to this person again they clearly don’t care about you.

Post # 90
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

 

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sunflower22:  while the awesome thing here would be for you to have some big long talk with this chick about how she uses people, treats them like crap and in generally just really isn’t as nice as she thinks that she is – let’s be honest – that isn’t going to happen. Not everyone has it in them to have some big confrontation and this would be a big awkward confrontation

so in light of that just remove yourself from the situation… do/say nothing but just be gone from her life

you said you have been friends for 20+ years so you probably have mutual friends etc – if you see her around then say hi, ask how she is, be nice enough but DO NOT make any plans with her on your own, do not pick up the phone when she calls, do not answer her emails etc

if you have to speak to her make it short and simple (oh yeah everything is great but I have been so busy! great catching up but I really have to run)

when she calls flipping out on you that you are a bitch and how dare you treat her like this etc just play dumb….. who me? oh sorry yeah I have been really busy but yeah let’s make plans soon

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