(Closed) Venting… About bumpers

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

One thing I’ve learned is to just keep my mouth shut when it comes to others. A good friend of mine bought a drop-sided crib, has bumpers, and other things. I bite my tongue and just smile. Why? Because it’s not worth the argument. You mention it once, then let it go. That’s what I’ve done with people.

If my child was staying there at times, then I would be willing to argue my case. My mother in law seems to think that because Darling Husband grew up with bumpers, a drop-sided crib, and blankets that it’s fine to do. I’ve put my foot down with her and if things aren’t right when baby comes, then baby will not be staying with them.

What about giving her a book or two to read? You could also suggest calling her doctor, may get her to look up some things. I call my sister and text my best friends Mom (who works in l&d) when I have questions or concerns, but anything I’m really not certain of I would just call my doctor myself.

Post # 4
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I understand! I tend to be on the paranoid side, and I can’t stand it when people are like “well, I did that and it was fine.”  Well, I’m choosing not to and that will be fine. I know that you can’t prevent everything, but I’d rather not worry about something as stupid as crib bumpers/deli meat/wine/etc. 

Post # 5
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My girlfriend has bumpers that are equivalent to throw pillows on adult beds.  She leaves them on for photos and for when guests are over but removes them when the baby is in the crib.  Maybe she will come to her senses?? 

You are a good friend for worrying about her.  It genuinely irritates me when people think people go overboard these days with protecting their unborn babies. I have a friend who is around 14 weeks and everytime it is something with her….

Example:  “Well my sister had a 40 ounce soda a day with all of her kids so I think I will be fine””Well my mom says she had deli turkey throughout her entire pregnancy with no negative side effects” “Well tylenol is ok during pregnancy so i take one almost every day”


There are enormous amounts of articles regarding these issues for a reason!!!! Maybe it happens to 1 out of 100 kids… but do you want to be that 1?  Why risk it?  Do you need soda and turkey THAT bad? Get over yourself.

stole your vent.


Post # 6
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

While most agencies discourage the use of bumpers, they aren’t illegal and using them or not is a personal choice for each parent to make themselves. I feel they fall into the personal preference category and when Darling Husband and I have a kiddo we may use them or not, depending on our child. Some kids are nice calm sleepers and never need them, others bump their heads or get their arms and legs stuck in the bars on a regular basis.

Furthermore, deaths directly related to bumpers have been due to suffocation or strangulation, not SIDS which still has no official cause. There is some conjecture about whether airflow/stale air plays a role in SIDS, but I learn towards the research that links SIDS to neurological defects, specifically low serotonin in the brain. When an infant is sleeping face down or has their face pressed against a bumper/fabric/pillow/something restricting their airflow, an infant with normal serotonin levels would turn their head. A baby with abnormal serotonin levels in the brain doesn’t respond to the lack of oxygen the same way.

Whether you choose to use bumpers or not, and I’m sure you’re just concerned about your friend, it isn’t really your place to parent her nor her child so I would probably stay out of it, especially since she’s made her choice clear.

A general pubmed search on SIDS.

Post # 7
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2005

In the end your friend is going to do what she wants.  I had seen some pretty cute bumpers as well and ultimatly decided to go for ones that where mesh so if my baby DID end up against it, she could still breathe.  I agree that safty is more important then cuteness, your kid isn’t gonna remember how cute her/his nursery is and if they die it won’t matter how cute it is.  She’s pretty silly but she’s entitled to her own way of doing things, it’s not anything you need to continue to talk to her about since she isn’t going to listen.

Post # 8
46594 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If friends or family are doing something stupid or risky, I speak to them once, just to make sure they are aware of the risks.

After that, they (and their children) are on ther own.

Post # 9
4354 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would just let it go, unfortunately it’s not your place to do anything more then you’ve already done. Like a PP said, maybe she put the bumpers in for the photo or got them as a gift so they are in to decorate until baby comes?

In the end, as crappy as it is to stand by, it’s ultimately her choice how to raise her baby and around what dangers. Bumpers aren’t illegal, so some people will still buy and use them.

You’ll strain your friendship if you let yourself get too invested in the choices she makes about her baby, because I’m sure there will be plenty more things you disagree on.

Post # 10
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012


+1! Great info!

Post # 11
11418 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

That has to be a frustrating situation. I have two FB friends who are the most wonderful and amazing moms. They both have multiple kids and make most of their families’ food from scratch (one even made all of her last child’s baby food) so that their children will be as healthy as possible, and, yet, FB pictures of their nurseries show not only bumpers but all kinds of stuffed toys in the cribs. I am hoping that the bumpers and toys are removed when the babies are in the cribs, but I have never felt comfortable asking them about it.

Post # 12
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ugh I can relate. I have a pregnant friend that is driving me bonkers too. Its for different reasons, but it’s very similar. I bet they will be annoying too when their babies are here. Venting is ok!

Post # 14
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Just a thought… my girlfriend bought a bedding set that came with bumpers. The bumpers were put in for the nursery picture then taken out prior to the baby using the crib.  Maybe she’ll do something similar.

Post # 16
1477 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Ahhh….. my SIL registered for bumpers and I even told my Mother-In-Law why they’re bad. I know she told SIL! It kills me! I’ve heard of some people having them up for the cute factor until the baby is ready to sleep in the crib. But yeah, there’s so many things! I studied early child development, so I have a ton of knowledge on SIDS risks and SIDS reductions, yet no one asks me, and friends who are parents never listened to me because I haven’t had my baby yet. And then there’s the other early child development knowledge that I have. It stinks to have to be quiet, but when people don’t listen anyways, what can you do?

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