(Closed) Venting about guests (long)

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Aye aye aye!

It really sounds like you’ve done everything you can to accomodate these folks! Kudos to you.

Since they refuse to cooperate, I would just put whatever information you have for them on the cards. If that means no first names (Mr. and Mrs. Smith) for instance, then go with that. Even if you have to put "Daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Smith" do that by all means.

 I wouldn’t do this under ordinary circumstances but these people seem to have really crossed the line!


Post # 4
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

wow.  I mean WOW.  14-16 people with no names?  This is incredibly rude and I am upset for you.  I am asian myself and I understand how sometimes asian familes tend to not stick to or care for protocol or etiquette…

That being said, is there any way for your father or mother to call them again and stress how important it is to get names?  Let them know that you would like to seat them all together but will have some trouble doing so if you do not know who is attending. 

Otherwise, I would suggest a placecard stating "The X Family" and relegate an entire two tables to them and their guests, essentially giving them two tables as open seating so they can decide how to seat themselves.

Good luck, Trinny!!

Post # 5
596 posts
Busy bee

i think peony’s suggestion of having just one placecard for them stating "the X family" is a great one!  or you could have 14-16 placecards that indicate "the X family" if you want to make sure each of them have one.

i think you’re being really gracious!! don’t let that stress you out…i’m sure your day will be amazing regardless!!

Post # 6
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Wow, What a headache.  Just take a deep breathe and do what you gotta do.  Good luck.


Post # 7
21 posts
  • Wedding: May 2009

wow…14 or 16 of 2…just wow, I’m sorry, i’m in the same kind of situation, though not as high of a number, apparantly FParentsIL’s sibling’s spouse’s parents have to be invited??!! and not to mention they aren’t paying a dime for the wedding, my parents (who had no demands about guests since my family can be counted on one hand) and us are paying for it….ARGHHHHH, sorry I had to vent a little too.

 But to get back on topic here, peony’s suggestion is great! and I applaud you for accommodating everyone, I on the other hand is being a bridezilla and a brat and are not allowing them to invite those said parents if they wanted to invite their second/third cousins, i gave them a choice between the two.

Post # 8
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

Bearing in mind that I am unbelievably passive-agressive…if I were in your shoes, here’s what I would do:  I would plan the seating chart to include their attendance, but I would only have escort cards for the people were actually invited.  Since they weren’t actually invited, I’d let the other 14 people figure it out for themselves where their seats are. 

Post # 9
21 posts
  • Wedding: May 2009

to ljlkclark’s response…LOL!!!!!

Post # 10
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Definately make place cards for them – if these are the kind of people who invite themselves to weddings, they are probably also the sort of people who will take a seat reserved for someone else at the reception! You don’t want dear Aunt Sally in a fuss because someone took her seat, so make sure there is some place for these extras to put themselves, if only out of courtesy for the guests who WERE invited!

Post # 11
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I was going to say the exact same thing as snmcdowell!  I really like the idea of "The X Family" if you can’t get their names in time.

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