Post # 1
I invited a branch of my family to the wedding with whom I’ve never had any contact out of respect for my parents. This branch consists of four siblings and their families. I wanted to invite only the adults, so this would mean 8 total.
Knowing how Asian people like to bring their entire families, I customized each RSVP indicating the number that were invited by stating ‘____ of 2 will attend’ I received two out of four RSVPs back stating ‘5 of 2 will attend’ and ‘4 of 2 will attend’. Yes, that actually happened. The other two didn’t bother to send the RSVP back at all. I asked an aunt to call them and they stated that a total of 16 people will attend. While this was shocking, I had the room for them, so I decided to just let it go and accommodate the full 16.
Now I’m in the middle of creating my escort cards, and each guest (rather than group) have their own escort card, since it is attached to a piece of chocolate (the idea was posted in one of the blogs). So now I need the names of all 16 guests. When my father called to ask for the names of each person who will be attending, he was told that it was just not necessary and they couldn’t be bothered to give him the names. They also said that it will be ’14 or 16 people attending’. My wedding is a only a week away, but they won’t confirm.
This post is my way of venting and not letting this issue get to me so close to the wedding. Is anyone else having these challenges with their guests?
Post # 3
Aye aye aye!
It really sounds like you’ve done everything you can to accomodate these folks! Kudos to you.
Since they refuse to cooperate, I would just put whatever information you have for them on the cards. If that means no first names (Mr. and Mrs. Smith) for instance, then go with that. Even if you have to put "Daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Smith" do that by all means.
I wouldn’t do this under ordinary circumstances but these people seem to have really crossed the line!
Post # 4
wow. I mean WOW. 14-16 people with no names? This is incredibly rude and I am upset for you. I am asian myself and I understand how sometimes asian familes tend to not stick to or care for protocol or etiquette…
That being said, is there any way for your father or mother to call them again and stress how important it is to get names? Let them know that you would like to seat them all together but will have some trouble doing so if you do not know who is attending.
Otherwise, I would suggest a placecard stating "The X Family" and relegate an entire two tables to them and their guests, essentially giving them two tables as open seating so they can decide how to seat themselves.
Good luck, Trinny!!
Post # 5
i think peony’s suggestion of having just one placecard for them stating "the X family" is a great one! or you could have 14-16 placecards that indicate "the X family" if you want to make sure each of them have one.
i think you’re being really gracious!! don’t let that stress you out…i’m sure your day will be amazing regardless!!
Post # 6
Wow, What a headache. Just take a deep breathe and do what you gotta do. Good luck.
Post # 7
wow…14 or 16 of 2…just wow, I’m sorry, i’m in the same kind of situation, though not as high of a number, apparantly FParentsIL’s sibling’s spouse’s parents have to be invited??!! and not to mention they aren’t paying a dime for the wedding, my parents (who had no demands about guests since my family can be counted on one hand) and us are paying for it….ARGHHHHH, sorry I had to vent a little too.
But to get back on topic here, peony’s suggestion is great! and I applaud you for accommodating everyone, I on the other hand is being a bridezilla and a brat and are not allowing them to invite those said parents if they wanted to invite their second/third cousins, i gave them a choice between the two.
Post # 8
Bearing in mind that I am unbelievably passive-agressive…if I were in your shoes, here’s what I would do: I would plan the seating chart to include their attendance, but I would only have escort cards for the people were actually invited. Since they weren’t actually invited, I’d let the other 14 people figure it out for themselves where their seats are.
Post # 9
to ljlkclark’s response…LOL!!!!!
Post # 10
Definately make place cards for them – if these are the kind of people who invite themselves to weddings, they are probably also the sort of people who will take a seat reserved for someone else at the reception! You don’t want dear Aunt Sally in a fuss because someone took her seat, so make sure there is some place for these extras to put themselves, if only out of courtesy for the guests who WERE invited!
Post # 11
I was going to say the exact same thing as snmcdowell! I really like the idea of "The X Family" if you can’t get their names in time.