- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
Before I got engaged, I really didn’t want a big wedding – I really wanted to do a destination wedding or even something so small locally – like about 25 people. However, my parents don’t want me to do that…and want to pay for a wedding with all family members (first cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and immediate family for both mine and my fiance’s side = 97 people) so we just caved in and said that we would do that and not have more than 110 TOTAL.
We have found a venue and that’s about it – I am wearing my mom’s dress because I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on a dress when I didn’t even really want a huge wedding to begin with. We are coming up with the list so we can get addresses and send out save the dates because the wedding is coming up somewhat soon…
She sent me her list of our relatives with their addresses – which comes to about 80 or so people total because she wants to invite some of her friends, some of her work friends, and then add a +1 to EVERYONE…so now I’m just assuming that we’re closer to 200 than 110 because none of that includes my fiance’s side of the family. I don’t want everyone to have a +1 – especially my cousins under 18 bringing their friend or someone from school. I don’t mind the +1’s for older people especially when I know the person they are dating…
She also stated that we HAVE to get flowers for my parents, his parents, my grandparents, his grandparents, all groomsmen and all bridesmaids and I HATE flowers!!! I just want bouquets ONLY because I think it’s a bit awkward for them to walk down not holding anything and then we have these cool vases that we could use the bouquets as centerpieces that hide the ribbon on the stems.
She also wants to get all this expensive food packages that the venue offers and have an open bar of every imaginable alcoholic beverage you can think of – which isn’t a problem to me – except the fact that we set a budget of $10,000 MAX and she’s putting us WAY over by adding more and more people and more food than necessary.
She wants to do EVERY traditional thing you do at weddings and I DON’T AT ALL. I think most traditions at weddings are outdated and not me at all.
I just feel like this entire event is everything I don’t want and I’m so frustrated that I’m about to tell her – you throw whatever party you want there but I’m not showing up. Maybe she should just get remarried…because the excitement and fun is long gone and we’ve only been planning for 3 weeks.
I know some people will say – well she’s paying let her do whatever she wants and invite whoever – but shouldn’t I get a say in any of this?! I really hate everything that’s being planned and I don’t want it to be some HUGE event. I just feel like she’s more concerned about how she’s going to look to her friends and making sure she throws some amazing event for them to see and NOT concerned at all about what we want or how we feel..I don’t know…I’m just frustrated.