(Closed) venting and hopefully getting out of this waiting cycle for good

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 4
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Hopefully you will stop thinking about this as much once you are out of school and trying to start your career. With all due respect to you, since you are so young, I would highly recommend that you infact DO focus 100% on your career and not the engagment. It is a LOT easier to establish yourself in the workforce at a younger age.

Sure, engagement won’t hurt the career, however it definitely won’t help it either. If anything, post-engagement, you will have that thought in the back of your head that you need to marry within 1-2 years. And he obviously has no money to make that happen. Neither do you. It’ll be worse if you have student loans to boot!

So please hang in there and just do what you are thinking of doing… i.e.: hang out more with your friends (go visit them @ uni!), and then concentrate on your professional life once it starts. Give that atleast a couple of years before you think engagement again. It will be hard, but it will totally be worth it.

This is coming from someone who did infact WASTE such an important period of her life to hoping, thinking, waiting for engagement/marriage. And I do not want you to go through the same. I would’ve been professionally MUCH HIGHER up by now had I not wasted those budding years!

Post # 5
Member
14402 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Are you finishing up college this year?  So you’re 21/22??  While I understand that a lot of people do get married young if they both agree to do so, if he’s not quite there yet what’s the rush?  Is it for secuirty in the relationship?  Do you want to move out with him to your own place and will only do that with an engagement?  There’s nothing wrong with living with parents, in fact, for as long as he is there, that is how much faster he can save up for a ring and everything since he’s not paying rent.  Same on your side also, as long as you are there, you can save SO much faster for a down payment or something and be so much more secure when you do move out.  As long as you both can be rent free, I’d take advantage of it and save like crazy, especially if you are in Mass and eventually want to own.

Post # 6
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

(hug) I know it’s so hard to wait.  My one piece of advice is to not use a break as a way to make him “miss you.”  This usually just backfires.  He could see it as an ultimatum and the break could become permanant.  If you love him, be patient (which sucks) and it will happen!

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