Post # 1
So I need to vent and feel really bad about doing this over the internet, i just do not know how to talk to about my one bridesmaid who has really made me upset.
This bridesmaid is my future sister in law (she is the mother of my fiances brother children) I can go on and on about how my fiances brother is ridiculos and super controlling to this girl however I do not want to create any issues/drama between my soon to be family so i choose not to say anything to them. So heres the issue; this bridemaid had told me that if we were going to go out for my bachelorette party to this one particle bar she couldnt come (her boyfriends order). He even spoke to my fiance asking him to tell me not to go to this bar, and because my fiance is such a sweet guy he talked to me about it and too had asked me not to go to this bar becuz it would create more issues then we need). The brother works at that bar and has had some issues (previously chatted on my bridemaid with a co-worker at this bar) this has created so much issues to the wedding planning already but needless to say the guy and my bridesmaid are still together. Ridiculos I know but its their decision. Anyways it gets even more ridiculos. My Maid/Matron of Honor had suggested going camping since the bar idea was a no go as all our friends want to go to that bar (but becuz of 2 people now i cant). I spoke to this bridesmaid about the idea and again to my surprise her boyfriend said if you go i will pick u up at the end of the night – he doesnt want her to stay out all night without him (especiialy at a camp site) becuz he thinks something is going to happen (some guy will pick her up) its becoming super ridiculous and I have no idea what to do. I want to keep the promise I made to my fiance about not going to that bar – and the camp idea isnt so bad but its not what I thought my bachelorette would be. I want to go dancing and I want people to come. I am getting really annoyed with this couple and its extrememly hard as its my fiances brother. Also I have tried to talk to my fiance about it; I love him to pieces please dont get me wrong when I say this but he tends to please other people before thinking about us (which yes can be good but is creating a struggle between the two of us)
What should I do? Part of me wants to say who cares what the brother says its my bachelorette party we will do what i want. but the other part of me keeps replaying the conversation with my fiance 🙁
Post # 2
I say you should do what you want. And it’s up to your bridesmaid if she comes or not. It’s ridiculous that a bar is off limits because of HER boyfriend.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
venter25: Agree with PP. Pretty much anything you choose to do, short of the bf coming with you gals, would involve some sort of silly response from the jealous bf. I would say let them plan something and your bm can decide what to do – just don’t be surprised if she doesn’t come (which sucks, but you really cannot plan around someone like her bf).
Post # 4
I agree with PPs. It’s ridiculous that he gets to say what she will and will not to in the first place, and I wouldn’t be very accomodating to that, regardless of who he’s related to.
Post # 5
venter25: Dear I honestly think you should talk to your fiance first, make him understand that the main problem is not the location you choose, is that the guy clearly does not want the bridesmaid to go anywhere. Besides it is your PARTY! so whoever attends is because they will do everything in their hands to share such a special day with you.
Post # 6
venter25: yes, this is crazy. Some soon to be in-law’s bf/FI should not be telling you or your Fiance where you can go for your bachelorette. Sounds like your Fiance might be a little under his control too or he would’ve laughed at the request. Also- odd that he doesn’t want his gf to go to the bar he works at where he previously cheated on her with someone. Sounds like he still is cheating and doesn’t want the two girls to be around each other and figure it out. Please tell your Fiance that you and your gfs want to go to this bar and that a guy shouldn’t get to decide where his bro’s Fiance can or cannot go for her Bach party. Please do not let these ppl push you into having a Bach party that’s nothing like what you want.
(Oh and welcome to the bee! If this is your first post and not just your first anonymous post.)
Post # 7
Is there not another bar you could go to that has dancing? Maybe a weekend trip away? I would try to set something like that up (that fits into your idea about what you want for your bachelorette party) and then if your bridesmaid (or her bf) has issues with doing that I would say to her, “we’ll really miss you, but I totally understand that it’s not possible for you to join us this time.”