(Closed) VENTING BEWARE

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

yeah- my mom feels the need to make it VERY clear that she does not believe in marriage, and also that she thinks weddings are a huge waste of money.  honestly, i think she is a bit sad because hers didn’t really pan out.  I try and not let it get to me, but it definitely spoils the whole “wedding buzz feel”, ya know?

Post # 4
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@soon2bmrsgarcia:

Hi – Yeah… went to see some old friends a month or two ago, and one of my mentors walked in the house, and said “Why do people ever get married?” I was like, WHAT? (This was the first I’d seen him since getting engaged). He also made comments about my Fiance being “good enough for now”… Luckily I had friends who basically jumped in and confronted him, before I let him know too much about what I thought. I love the guy, but don’t know why he chose to do that.

Post # 6
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

You are not alone, don’t worry! I was also shocked at the number of people who felt like they had to ‘warn’ me about how horrible married life is. I was just thinking about it this morning actually! I’ve only been married 7.5 months so I’m not exactly an expert, but I came to the conclusion that I think all of the people who hated on marriage to me while I was engaged probably (unfortunately) aren’t in love with their spouses anymore ๐Ÿ™ There’s just no other explanation that makes sense. I mean I know relationships have ups and downs, but if you truly love your spouse enough to marry them, then you won’t feel total despair from the relationship in general.

The good news is once you get married, those comments stop ๐Ÿ™‚ There’s nothing to ‘warn’ you about anymore! But people do ask how married life is in a menacing tone.

Post # 7
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yeah, I hear ya, after Fiance and I got engaged, everyone’s reaction to our engagement was “no don’t do it! you’ll be miserable!” Some people were just joking, but it’s like, that’s really not funny….and it was coming from single people, married people, divorced people, etc. It’s like…I’m sorry you are all so miserable, but we’re pretty happy, and hopefully we will continue to be. I don’t know why people can’t just be more positive and happy for others. I don’t think believeing you’ll have a happy marriage is unrealistic.

Post # 8
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

i’ve gotten it sometimes. mostly in a joking fashion but what is this world coming to if people dont believe in marriage anymore? it makes me sad.

My parents have been married 37 years and i have always invisioned myself doing the same thing. FI’s parents have been married 32. sometimes i wonder if that gives us an advantage in the marriage world because we both grew up with parents in a loving, happy marriage. I have tons of friends whose parents have divorced and their views on marriage are skewed. i dunno..just something i thought about. i wonder if there are any statistics out there on that subject.

Post # 9
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Is it just me or do a lot of people get married prematurely these days? And I’m not talking about marrying young, I mean tying the knot without getting all your ducks in a row first. I don’t know if it’s the fact that divorce is more accepted or if marriage just isn’t considered as serious an institution anymore.

I know people who have gotten married because they’re sick of being single, married on the rebound, married faster than they had planned so they could get citizenship paperwork started earlier, married with absolutely no handle on their financial situation, married someone they know 100% will cheat on them…and then they seem surprised when their home starts feeling more like a war zone than a love nest.

I think there are too many unhappy people out there who went ahead with their weddings even though they had doubts, or thought marriage would solve their relationship problems.

And don’t get me started on the ones who think that just because they’re married, they don’t need to go out of their way to respect, care for or otherwise make an effort for their spouse.

I resent that these jaded people find it necessary to go around spraying anti-marriage messages at everyone they see who might have a real chance at wedded bliss. If you know something about me or my Fiance that you think is going to result in a crappy marriage, then by all means share, but don’t assume on the basis of your experience alone that my marriage is doomed to fail.

Post # 10
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Fiance calls to tell his parents that he propsed to me. They are separated since as hardcore Catholics they don’t ‘believe’ in divorce *eye roll*:

His mom: “oooookkkk…… so ya i am at this mall and i might need a ride later.”

His dad: “ok listen, can you come and fix the toilets for me.”

So yeah, I hear you girl… Not much we can do but just try to put these msgs behind us and never think of them again! You know the saying, “As a man thinketh, so is he.”

Post # 11
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@linguo42: i like your take on it ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Yeah, the whole negative attitude thing gets annoying.

So far so good for me…..people keep asking how married life is and I keep replying that it’s exactly the same just with more bling on my finger!  and before I get bugged, that is not why I got married…..we lived together for 5.5 years so we’re pretty used to each other and how our lives operate.

Post # 14
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

im sorry thats happening – i understand people vent but really they dont need to voice out every negative thought they may have

my sister has been happily married for 30yrs (she married at 17) and people almost fall down in a faint when it tell the stats on both sides of our families and there are no divorces – there are happily married people out there so try not to let them bring you down

 

Post # 15
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

be the one to set an example that its a HAPPY thing  ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 16
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree with love0love, set an example of marriage being a fantastic happy thing!

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