(Closed) Venting MOH

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think you need to let it go.  Your wedding was a year ago.  Technically all a BM/MOH duty is to stand up for the bride and groom. All the other stuff is extra. If you want to do all that stuff for your friend than do it but honestly why do you want to do a “pay back” to me that is rather immature. 

Post # 4
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m sorry you are upset about all of this. Ultimately, I think you should take the high road. She doesn’t seem like the type that really “gets it” so the only way you will feel good about it at the end of the day is to do what you are asked and do the things she didn’t do. Has she said “Thank you” even once?

Post # 5
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I know exactly how you feel because for me it was reverse I was the bridesmaid and I put a ton of work into and now I’m getting married. The thing is you have to remember everyone is different. I have been a bridesmaid in several weddings so I have more experience planning than my bridesmaids etc.. It sucks but at the end of the day its a very small part of your wedding, and if you say something or stop planning its likely to put a large strain on your friendship. 

I’m sorry that is so annoying and kudos to you for taking the high road and giving her an awesome shower!

Post # 6
46594 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

What I fail to understand in all these posts complaining about the behavior of friends picked as Maid/Matron of Honor or Bridesmaid or Best Man , is “Did you not have any clue what she was like before you asked her to be your MOH? or before you accepted the invitation to be hers? Or did they change dramatically after they joined your wedding party?

Let go of your disappointment re your own shower/bachelorette. It’s history.

Be the best friend you can be as her Maid/Matron of Honor. Don’t expect good behavior from her and you won’t be disappointed again.



Post # 7
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You will just have to let it go.  Who knows, maybe she had a lot going on when you got married?  I was THAT bridesmaid in my brother’s wedding because to be honest, before I got engaged and found this website, I had no clue what brides expected from their bridesmaids.  Honestly I thought you were just supposed to buy a dress and shoes and show up.  I get that the Maid/Matron of Honor is supposed to do more but maybe she just didn’t understand her duties and maybe she had some personal issues at the time.  Saying to yourself “it’s pay back time!” and not putting forth any effort would be passive aggressive, imo.

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