(Closed) Venue and Mother-in-law problems

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Have your Fiance have a talk with her and tell her she has X number of invitations and that’s it and that you will not be inviting people to come after dinner (very rude) and that calling your mother to go over your head about your wedding is not acceptable. 

Post # 4
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

She’s calling your mom? Seriously, you guys aren’t five. I think your Fiance needs to remind her that the wedding is about you and him, not her. Is she helping with money?

Post # 5
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

About the venue: tell her it’s a dead subject.  She’ll likely hound you so just say “This topic isn’t up for discussion.  If you feel it is necessary for you to bring up, we will be leaving.” And when she does, hang up, leave, whatever to get out.  If she emails you about it, ignore her.

About the guest list: give her a deadline when you want the addresses.  Let her know that if she gives you more than 150, you and your Fiance will be deciding who gets cut, not her.  So she can either narrow down her own list or you can do it for her.  And no invites for just after dinner.  Also, we still needed addresses for some of DH’s side.  Well guess what?  If I didn’t have them by my deadline, which was extremely reasonable (gave them like a years notice) they were not invited.  Don’t let it be your proble, let it be hers.

Post # 6
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Your Fiance needs to handle this. Tell him he needs to let her know 150 is the total she can invite, no more, and that she needs to stop calling your mom about things that she already knows the answer to. Some people think that they can get their way if they keep being pushy about something – they just need to be stood up to, but it’s you’re FI’s place to deal with this because it’s a wedding for the both of you, not just you.

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