Post # 1
Hi bees! My boyfriend (soon to be fiancé) and I have been planning our wedding. We’ve ordered a ring but it’s taking longer than expected so we just decided to go ahead and start planning because we’re running out of time. Anyways, as we have been looking around at venues we both fell in love with two different venues. Has anyone ever had to navigate this before? I’m torn because I want him to have a venue he loves too and not have the wedding be all about me. Should we just try and find a “neutral” location that we both like? We have hugeee style differences and he wants to get married in a barn and I really like a modern ballroom vibe. Just thought I’d post on here to see if anyone has had a similar situation?
Post # 2
I would keep looking. I’m sure there’s a venue you’ll both love. Maybe you can incorporate elements from both styles into a neutral space.
Post # 3
I feel like you need to sort out your style / overall vision. Barn vs modern ballroom vibes won’t just effect the venue, it will impact the decorations, food, outfits, etc.
Post # 4
I agree that I think you’ll have to sort out the things each of you are looking for. Barn and Modern Ballroom are almost opposites on the style spectrum, so if each of you could be more specific about what you want, you might find sorting out a venue and other decor easier. For example, if he’s looking for an outdoorsey idea, you could find aplace with gardens or a rustic area in which to take photos.
Otherwise, there are some farms that host weddings with a “glammed up” barn. Something like that might give the indoor vibe you’re looking for with the barn theme he’s looking for.
Post # 5
Your visions for your wedding are super different and you need to resolve this before planning your wedding or committing to a venue. I imagine that barn vs. ballroom will lead to several different polarizing choices as well.. eg. indoor vs. outdoor, evening vs. daytime ceremony? I agree with PPs that there are some fairly upscale barn wedding venues nowadays if that might be a compromise for you.
Post # 6
What they all said. I assume you are talking some considerable time in the future , given the current situation , so hopefully it will work out .
Post # 7
- Wedding: Agoura, California
It’s good that you have a guy that wants his input in the wedding. It’s also important that you continue sharing ideas and looking at venues until you reach an agreement that’ll suit both.
Newly engaged, we ran into this problem last week. Mr. Hamster wanted a formal church wedding in the winter with all the bells and whistles. While I wanted a very casual garden wedding in the summer. We came up with a semi-formal evening wedding at a garden venue. It was hard to let go of some of my ideas, but remembered that it’s his wedding too.
Post # 8
I’d keep looking.
Out of curiousity, is this a barn that is already Pinterest ready or more of an actual barn? The cost of decor, and whether your venue needs much dressing up is also something to consider.
Post # 9
If you’re willing to disclose your region Bees may be able to help with venue suggestions.
Post # 11
definitely more Pinterest ready! It’s a beautiful venue but located veryyyy far into the country for where we live and has live cows and chickens on the venue site lol.
Post # 12
live cows and chickens at my wedding venue would be a no for me, mainly because of smell and noise. Also consider how far your guests would have to drive out. More factors to consider!
Post # 13
I think that it’s really important that the venue is a good size for the number of guests/activities you want. If the venue is too big then I think it kills the atmosphere because everyone is lost in the venue. Similarly, I went to a very lovely barn wedding which had a ceilidh, but given the number of guests the space was really too small to allow for that kind of set-layout dancing comfortably.
I personally didn’t want a venue with lots of small interlinking rooms because I was concerned that people would wander off and that would mean no atmosphere on the dance floor. But I know another couple who actively wanted lots of small interlinking rooms because they had a lot of people who didn’t like loud music, so they could stay separate from the room they had the disco in.
Maybe worth thinking about some of those things?
Also, I found that some venues had lots of hidden additional costs or restrictions on timings. We wrote off my husband’s preferred venue because of this. We didn’t want to feel like we couldn’t invite everyone we wanted to because of cost, as far as possible.