Venue Does Not Allow Children

posted 5 months ago in Guests
Post # 33
Member
7389 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I also want to reiterate that its totally ok to decline a venue (even free) if it doesnt meet your needs. No one would be batting an eyelash if they were offered a venue that could only fit 10 people but they wanted to invite 100. No one would be batting an eyelash if they were offered a dry venue but declined so they could offer liquor. Declining because they dont allow kids and there is one especially important kid they want invited is totally fine. 

Post # 34
Member
350 posts
Helper bee

This is a no-brainer to me. Choose another venue. 

Post # 35
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
elderbee :  that was directed at people who are phrasing their responses as if the eight-year-old herself is being selfish and demanding to be invited. It was supposed to sound ridiculous enough to be read as sarcastic.

Post # 36
Member
4621 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It always astounds me at the amount of assumptions and prejudice that comes out on the bee when anything children is mentioned. 🙄

I find interesting that so many of the people posting and make sweeping statements as fact about ‘all’ children are the same bees that would jump on other bees for making similar generalised statements about gender/age/wedding etiquette etc

The 8 year old isn’t dictating the wedding venue so the bees need to stop saying that like she’s the one jumping up and down demanding to be invited. The bees saying this are bringing their own assumptions and dare I say prejudices surrounding children into their ‘advice’. The groom is actually the one who wants her included and as half the couple who is getting married he has equal right  as much as the bride to dictate what he sees his wedding vision. If that vision includes an 8 year old niece, it isn’t right to blame the child in question for the situation that has arisen.

OP, if this is a non negotiable for your future hubby and he is concerned that her not being able to be invited to attend may cause issues, your best course of action would be to talk this over with all potentially affected parties like your in-laws and venue friendors. At the moment you are making assumptions on what is and isn’t possible in this situation. Your inlaws might say your niece can stay at a school friends house for a sleepover or they might have a regular babysitter that they are happy to use. Your friendors might make the exception for a solo almost 9 year old child. My niece is around the same age and is very capable of acting appropriately in a venue and if your niece is similar it shouldn’t really be an issue if she is as capable of a level of maturity as any other 12 year old (which they do allow).

Talk to the people involved. That is the only way you’ll be able to find a solution that works for you all. T

 

Post # 37
Member
1527 posts
Bumble bee

some of the comments here are bizarre, a lot of 8 year olds definitely would want to attend a wedding and would be aware and upset that they weren’t invited, so staying that this child won’t care and won’t remember the party is ridiculous, she’s not 2, she’s 8. Also, saying it’s easy and no problem finding a baby sitter, that’s not necessarily true if all your friends and family are at the wedding? Who are you going to leave her with? I know a lot of people wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving an 8 year old overnight with anyone other than close family and friends. The most important thing is OP’s husband wants her there, so it’s irrelevant if she doesn’t care or they have a baby sitter, he wants her to be there so they need to find a venue that allows her to come.

Yes she’s a child but she’s still a person with feelings and a family member, the way some people are talking about sounds more like she’s a pet rather than his niece. 

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