Post # 1
I have just found out in the news that unfortunately and tragically a young lady was murdered at our wedding venue back in December.
The news has come about as the killer has been sentenced and sent to prison and I surprisingly saw the article in the papers, one the news and online.
Our venue is an old grade listed hotel, and it not solely an events and wedding venue -it is a working hotel.
The young lady met the man for a first date and they ended their night at the hotel.
The murder occurred and the body left in the grounds of the hotel.
I feel upset that this has happened, and naturally feel differently about my venue that I once loved and had such good and happy feelings about.
I am getting married next November, so still a little while to go until my wedding.
I am very unsure how I feel about the situation and wondered what other brides may feel if the same happened at their wedding venue?
I also feel concerned about how my guests will feel, especially if they have heard and seen the news and then recieve my save the dates/invites and realise is the same place.
Post # 2
acgb: Sadly, tradgedy happens all over the place. I think, that once you get over the shock, hopefully you can move forward and I am sure your guests won’t mind. Some may not even know, you are only just finding out about it and sadly, come your wedding it will be old news.
Very upsetting but one can rarely know the full history of a building or a place.
Post # 3
Its a horrible thing to happen, but remember its not the place. Nothing about the place caused this tragedy to occur, and theres no reason why you cant have a beautiful wedding there. Im not sure how your guests would feel about it. I personally wouldnt bring it up if I was invited to a wedding and I remembered if from the news stories
Post # 4
Yes, that it what my OH said, unfortunately these things happen and are happening all over the world at beautiful locations, perhaps we just don’t get to know about them.
I feel disrespectful about my feelings towards the venue now, I absolutely love it and I feel it has put a different perspective in my mind!
My OH and I were only at the venue 4 days before the news came out, having our engagement shoot, I felt horrible that we were there enjoying ourselves and having a lovely time, then finding out what occured there!
Perhaps I am thinking too much into it…
Post # 5
Youre definitely thinking way too much into it! I doubt your guest would even notice and I’m sure they wouldn’t not come because of that or anything. I’m one of those weirdos that would notice because I’m always intrigued by murders (I have always wanted to be a homicide detective) but, I’m sure most of your guest aren’t like me lol. And plus, your wedding is a year and a half away, I’m sure that will be the last thing on your guest mind at that point.
Also, I’m shocked that he’s already been sentenced within 6 months!
Post # 6
people die everywhere… if your venue is old grade listed then I garantee people have died their before just probably without ‘media’ attention – people could even of been murdered there before, not that many murders get public attention unless they are pretty young, very violent or a ‘stranger’ attack which is rare because most people get murdered by people they already know
Post # 7
It’s ok to still love your venue. Of course the murder is terrible, but the actual physical appearance of the venue is the same so it’s ok to still find it beautiful. And as you’ve said, things happen everywhere. I’m sure you’ve walked around your city centre, and that probably the hotspot for crimes! If I was a guest I would be ok, and since your wedding isn’t for a while (I’m assuming, if you’ve just done your engagement shoot?) they probably won’t even remember.
Do you think it would put you more at ease to acknowledge her in some way? Maybe take some flowers to the hotel grounds and honour her memory, telling her how deeply you feel for her and that you mean no disrespect with your wedding? (Maybe that’s not your thing, just a suggestion)
Post # 8
It would probably make me more inclined if I’m honest (but I’m probably of a morbid and dramatic point of view at the minute). For me it would be like letting the terror size a hold of me after a terror attack. Yes your view of a place changes and it might make you scared but if you stop going there then the terrorist attack has achieved what it set out to do. I think that by letting that incident change your venue you’re giving into the fear he caused that woman to experience, you’re remembering only his violet act and not the woman.
Like I said, maybe my view is dramatic but I would want to remember her me and what happened to her. I would want to be more appreciative of the situation I found myself in (marrying someone who respected me and didn’t use violence against me). I don’t think there’s a right or wrong for this and I would encourage you to reconsider if you’re only going to remember his violence rather than her life. If you’re genuinely not comfortable, then rearrange. It might take a few days to reach a decision, so just see how you feel.
Post # 9
acgb: It is tragic what happened to that poor girl but look at it this way, but you weren’t to know and you can’t change what happened. The only thing that would happen is that the people that own that venue would go out of business if no one went there ever again and that would be tragic also.
Post # 10
I get people’s viewpoints that it has nothing to do with the place and most guests won’t know, etc. But quite honestly, it would freak me out a lot. I would want my venue to be associated with my marriage and happiness, and that venue would always be associated with murder to me.
Post # 11
There is no place in the world untouched by tragedy. Unless you are very superstitious and believe this is going to be harmful to your wedding/marriage somehow, I wouldn’t dwell on it or allow it to change your feelings about a venue you love. It’s one thing to feel a little skeeved out, but it will be almost a year past by the time you get married. Surely all the good things about that venue outweigh the one bad thing you’re aware of?
If it helps to look at it this way, remember evil wins when we allow evil to set the tone for everything else in our lives and dictate what we do and where we do it. If everyone decided to avoid that hotel for accommodations and events because of that murder, then it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. It will only ever be the “murder hotel” because nobody will want to make happy memories there anymore, and so none will be made.
Post # 12
It’s sad but I really don’t think its a big deal. Think of your wedding as bringing in some positive/happy energy into the building to cancel out some of the negative thats happened there.
Post # 13
- Wedding: January 2017 - Maui, Hawaii
I went to a wedding a couple years ago that was in a high rise hotel with windows on all sides of the reception space. During cocktail hour, someone committed suicide by jumping off the roof of the hotel. Fortunately, I did not see this happen, but several of the guests did, and there were sirens and such outside after it occurred, which caused some of the guests to look out and see the horror. I was told by someone else what happened and chose not to look out, and I think most people once they knew about it chose not to look out as well. However, even though this horrible, tragic event happened during the cocktail hour, everyone still managed to have a good time, let it go, and celebrate the couple. If guests can manage that for a tragedy that occurs right in the middle of the cocktail hour, I am sure your guests will be fine nearly a year after a tragedy… most will probably not even remember or connect the dots anyway, unless you remind them!
Post # 14
Is this the “plenty of fish” murder? Just curious?
I wouldn’t worry about it. I promise no one else will either!
Post # 15
If only you knew about what really happens hotels on a daily basis… Perhaps better you don’t or you would never stay at one again. The one I work at is higher end but has a few jumpers every year. Life and death, joy and sorrow can be in the same place