(Closed) Venue Menu Options- Please Help!

posted 4 years ago in Food
  • poll: Which menu options would you choose?

    Chicken, Fish, Veggie

    Pork, Fish, Veggie

    Pork, Chicken, Veggie

    Ask FI to reconsider steak options :P

  • Post # 2
    2803 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I wouldn’t try to push the steak option. There is no need to offend anyone if that is their culture.

    Post # 3
    1531 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    If you’re having sea food earlier then maybe skip it.  Also it depends on what the meat descriptions are. Is it salmon?

    Post # 4
    301 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    I’d say chicken is much more guest-friendly overall than pork. Loads of people don’t like how fatty/high-cholesterol pork can be, and many can’t eat it because it’s not kosher. So if you’re only going to choose one meat, I’d go with chicken. 

    However, if you’re having a bunch of seafood during cocktail hour, you can consider foregoing the fish entree and going with chicken/pork/veggie at dinner. Do you think your crowd would have a large preference between fish vs pork?

    Post # 6
    1805 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I’m allergic to seafood, so I think I’d be pretty hungry after your appetizers. I’d rather have pork than chicken for the dinner. 

    Post # 7
    355 posts
    Helper bee

    If his family is paying for it, then I’d leave the steak off. Otherwise I’d really rethink the steak. I don’t see why his family’s preferences should overrule your family’s preferences. 

    I personally usually eat steak at a wedding, chicken dishes are usually dry or bland when catered and I do not eat pork for health reasons. Maybe it’s a cultural thing though, because where I live, we accommodate but don’t rearrange venues for other guests.

    Post # 10
    1250 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    The chicken/fish/veggie option sounds good to me. I usually have beef at weddings as well, but I probably wouldn’t serve it in your situation, since I would want to start my marriage on the right foot by showing respect for my new-DH’s culture. Are the 4 people who would be strictly religious his immediate family, parents/grandparents/siblings? Or more like more distant cousins? And is it something that they simply refrain from eating or do they find being in the same room where beef is being served offensive? If it’s more distant relatives and just something that they don’t eat, but can be in the same room as, I might reopen the discussion with your Fiance.

    Post # 11
    233 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    It’s interesting to me that the popular opinion hete is very different than popular opinion in the recent thread where a btide’s mother would be offended if alcohol was offered at all. The consensus wad that those who didn’t dtink gor religious reasons should not drink and they needed to deal with it if others chose to drink. 


    Why is this different? 

    I think this is a bigger issue than just a menu choice. I don’t tolerate people trying to make me pretend I’m something I’m not because they are offended by who I am. I think the appropriate accomodation is ensuring there  is ample non-beef dishes for his family to choose from, not for the bride to not have her and her  family’s preferred food available. Does  this mean she will never be permitted to irder beef in a restaurant if his family is present? Will she have to hide  the steak in the fridge when they come to visit?

    She eats beef. They don’t. At some  point, they need to come  to terms with  that.

    It may be “just food”, which is seemingly trivial, but this would actually be a hill I chose to die on. 

    But, if we are just looking at this  from a purely gastronomic perspective, and beef isn’t an option, I think either choice is fine.


    ETA apologies for the typos. I’m on my phone and have clumsy fingers.

    Post # 12
    7567 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    If you want steak, have steak. As long as you have non-beef options, and are paying for it yourselves, then your fiance’s family just needs to deal with it. No one is forcing them to choose beef, and they really have no right to be offended. Does that mean they do no ever dine at restaurants? Because a restaurant likely serves beef and those at other tables around them might order it?

    Post # 13
    427 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017 - State Park

    I’m assuming he’s from a culture where cows are considered sacred, so I think it’s easy enough to go without and be respectful. Your other menu options all sound DELICIOUS and would tempt anyone away from beef anway. 

    Chicken is definitely more widely liked and eaten than pork. I don’t think anyone will miss much day-of, and it’ll make a big difference for the comfort level of some. 

    Post # 15
    425 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    mikesgirl123 :  I haven’t seen the thread you are referring to, however context is key. It is likely that OP’s Fiance is from a culture where cows are considered sacred and holy. It’s not just a matter of choosing not to eat beef. If that is the case, it would make sense why some family members may be offended.

    View original reply
    ariellabee :  I would not push the beef option, as I think that this is a small, simple gesture of goodwill that could mean a lot to his family. The chicken, fish, and veggie options sound great to me. All of your guests should be able to find something they like to eat from those options.

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