- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2015
So — my SO recently got my ring a few weeks ago, but we’ve been planning a wedding slowly for a few months now. We are on a BUDGET!! I don’t know exactly what it is yet, but I know the less spent, the better (I’m gonna stick my neck out here and say around 8000?). The only important piece to me is the venue being rustic. I didn’t really want to do a winery, but considered it, though I have my heart set on a reception in a barn. We haven’t been able to find a venue we love in New Jersey, but I did find one I absolutely fell in love with in Pennsylvania. The venue I am head over heels for has a 6500 sf barn, absolutely beautiful and exactly what I wanted for about $1800 — has bathrooms, dressing rooms, a kitchen, and will allow outside caterers and choice in pretty much everything.
Originally, I planned on not exceeding an hour away from our general viscinity, since most of our family is scattered throughout NJ. My one sister is in Erie, PA and his dad lives in New Hope, PA. The venue we fell in love with is in Mifflintown, PA, about 3 hours and 20 minutes away from most of our family and friends. However, I’ve been searching for what feels like forever and can’t find what I’m looking for here at a reasonable price. The closest runners-up are Prallsville Mill and Bayonet Farms, but both have lots of stipulations, one doesn’t have bathrooms, etc. Bayonet is about 30 minutes from most of our guests, and Prallsville is about an hour. Both are at least $1000 more than the one in Mifflintown.
I called my dad, asking him his opinion on the distance, and he flat out told me, “No. You’ll have to find another place. Nobody’s going to go if it’s that far.” Right then, I felt like my heart crushed. All the other venues pale in comparison to this one after seeing it. We were going to go out and visit, but now I feel like I’m back at square one. Granted, our prospective date is in 2015 (and if we really feel like we need to push it back, 2016 fall — but I think 2015 now). The Mifflintown venue offered to lock in the rate for 2014 for a 2015 date, which would have gone up if we wait. It’d be 1600 for a Sunday, which I originally wanted for some reason, but now I realize it’s easier to get guests to come if they can stay the night on Saturday without worrying about taking off work the next day.
I’ve heard so many people say they’re willing to travel 2-3 hours for a wedding, so I’m wondering why my dad seems to think everyone is so inflexible. A close co-worker echoed his opinion, saying not to expect anybody to come because of how expensive travel is. She recently attended a Philly wedding, about an hour from us, and bemoaned the distance and need for hotel. SO said to go around and ask the people who I feel are important guests — the people I really want to come — but I want everyone to come, of course! Our families are both divorced, so it’s important to me that they all be there on that day, since I doubt they ever will all be together like that again. I’m new to this, but SO said (like one wedding we went to 4 hours from us) that we should reserve a block of rooms. For how many, though? I’m expecting to invite around 100. I’m terrified that what my dad said will happen and I’ll end up with 30 people in a 6500 sf. venue…
I feel like if I send Save-The-Date Cards out early, like over a year ahead, it’s plenty of warning for people to not make plans on that weekend (and I don’t plan on getting married on a holiday or anything!) and to prepare for that long-distance trip. Shouldn’t it be what I want in a venue, not what my dad thinks is best? He’s not paying for it, anyway! It’s my SO and myself footing the bill. What should I do? Sorry for the rambling, I just need advice. I’m so sad about his opinion being so anti- the venue that I love. Should I spend thousands extra to have it closer, or say, “This is my day! It’s not unreasonable to ask you to travel,” and go on with what I want?