Verbally attacked today over 'Thin Privilege'? I can't.

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
1285 posts
Bumble bee

That is CRAZY!  Wow.  I’m irked on your behalf!  She clealry has issues and is projecting them on you.

Post # 3
2181 posts
Buzzing bee

yourhandinmine :  Sorry to tell you the ‘less fabric’ thing for clothing is bullshit. If it was true, shorts would always be cheaper than pants and crop tops would be cheaper than t shirts. A size 8 would cost more than a size 2 of the same item. The healthcare thing extends beyond insurance rates into how doctors do or don’t treat overweight patients (spoiler: usually inadequately, to a dangerous degree). Insurance companies literally made weight a consideration because they needed to find a way to charge people more for something that they could claim was a health risk and fully under their control. 

I think it’s more accurate to frame the issue as systematic discrimination against fat people/people who don’t fit the ideal European body type, rather than thin people being elevated above anyone else. I’m sorry this woman went off on you for no reason–she was trying to tear you to pieces, not educate you. She obviously has something going on in her life if she lost her shit like this in front of coworkers over nothing. I doubt she’ll be invited to the next outing.

Post # 4
8821 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

yourhandinmine :  You’ve got a whole long post about how unhappy you were about your fiance gaining weight. Maybe your attitude about this issue is more apparent than you think and people pick up on your judgement.

Post # 5
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

If she had told me I was exactly what was wrong with women….yeh she’d have been wearing her cheese pasta as a hat!

Post # 6
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

You believe in the concept of “thin shaming” but not “thin privilege”?

Post # 7
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

She was BANG out of order, exceptionally rude – she sounds like she has extremely low self esteem. please try to move on and not give her much thought, however you have every right to be upset.

Hope you can shake it off!

P.s thin privilege does exist BUT you were not ‘using’ it against her in ANY way. 

Hope your weekend goes better!

Post # 9
2039 posts
Buzzing bee

yourhandinmine :  I think this is a situation where the message was inadequately communicated, and rudely communicated that COULD have been a really interesting discussion. Instead of attacking you, she could have just brought up how crazy it is that society expects women to eat salads, and that the healthcare system could use a major overhaul in how it treats women of different sizes. Instead of raging and calling you a “skinny bitch”, that was totally out of line.

Post # 11
9130 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

What a nutcase.  I think “thin privilege” is definitely a thing in general, but it’s just rude and crazy to go apeshit about it on someone she hardly knows when you weren’t inviting it.

People should be free to eat whatever the hell they want in public – including a REAL salad!  Just as no one should shame an overweight person for eating pizza or a burger, no one should shame a thin person for eating a salad.

Daisy_Mae :  IMO, being concerned about your life partner gaining a substantial amount of weight is just as valid as any other health concern, whether it’s your partner developing an addiction or suffering from depression or becoming pre-diabetic or anything else.

Post # 12
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

She definitely overreacted. I just don’t think you can do anything else. Unfortunately by getting caught up in arguing about “thin privilege”, the original issue or conflict got lost.  She will never remember that you thought she was staring at your salad.  And you’re not remembering that somehow you may have given off a judgmental attitude.

I’d let it go and not talk yourself into some sort of martyr or victim mentality. If you didn’t do anything wrong, there’s no reason to give her any power over your attitude.

I don’t mean to be insensitive to you, and I know her attitude was wrong and offensive to you…but there are so many much bigger issues in the world than “thin (or fat) shaming”.  

No pun intended… ;). 

Post # 13
4858 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Right so she’s self conscious and this is your fault.., I see. She’s projecting her insecurities in you big time. It’s not your responsibility to make her feel good about herself. It’s just not anyone’s place to make her feel badly about it. Her reaction is not normal at all. Don’t sweat it. 

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