(Closed) Verbally attacked today over 'Thin Privilege'? I can't.

• Itsnotme
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: April 2015

tiffanybruiser :  well as I said I’ve been shamed for both and I still think that both thin shaming is equal to fat shaming and I am probably in a pretty unique position that I have had both done to me and I don’t think I was playing victim saying I was thin shamed. But I was thin shamed more then I was fat shamed and people seemed to view it as perfectly exceptable to do which is what made it worse. The general public view it as a bad thing to fat shame but thin shaming is always brushed off and laughed off as being nothing. But it’s still very very hurtful to be told you are disgusting because your thin or your vile because you can see your ribs if you stretch up in the same way it is hurtful to be told your disgusting when your fat and decide to treat yourself to a burger. I’ve had both ends of the spectrum I’m 5’10 and I’ve been everything from 9 stone to about 17+ (stopped weighing myself so I can’t say what I ever ended up as) and to me they are completely equal because it’s still really fucking hurtful to be thin shamed even if being thin is “desirable”.

• weddingmaven
• 4 years ago

yourhandinmine :  She was obviously out of line, but you escalated it to another level. I’m sorry but two wrongs don’t make a right. This woman obviously has issues and deep insecurity. You started out by reassuring her that you did not mean things the way she took them. IMO you should have quit while you were ahead.

• Itsnotme
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: April 2015

I also think people don’t quite get thin shaming on this thread. It’s really not just people going “eat a burger” that would be like saying fat shaming is just someone saying “go on a diet” it goes way way further then that. When I was thin I was called disgusting, vile, revolting and that no man would ever want me by other women that’s just the stuff I remember there were loads of comments about eating a burger and snarky side comments that all blend in to one. When I was fat I got called fat, fatass ect a few times and had lots of looks and tuts and people having not so quiet conversations about me that they “didn’t think I’d hear” but it was never as out and out nasty as the thin shaming. The thin shaming was a lot more personal and nasty. It would be more subtle when people were sober but if I went on a night out women could get horrible! I think thin shaming is being massively down played that it’s small little comments when often it isn’t and that’s why I view it as equal. We aren’t talking about the odd comments about burgers and salads this is more about the really personal digs people make. That’s proper shaming to me. 

• malgor
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: February 2017

tiffanybruiser :  you just said exactly what I came along to say but you said it much more succinctly. Exactly that?!

• mhmmgirl
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: November 2016

yourhandinmine :  She’s probably vastly insecure about herself to begin with, but for everything that majority of society looks fondly upon, there is a privilege. People just respond differently to thin women differently than plus sized women.

 

All in all, what a bizarre experience!! I would just avoid her in general. She seems like a loose cannon. Never know when she’s gonna run to HR bc you looked at her while sipping water while she was drinking dr pepper.

• mrs2014
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: July 2014

Any update bee? Did you decide to bring up this issue with HR?

 

Reading all these posts made me realise how lucky I am to have never experienced any body shaming. Some bees have shared stories which reveal how mean some people can be, and I feel very sort for them. I myself was both very skinny and slightly chubby (when I obviously felt like I was super fat), and no one ever made me feel bad about my weight. Apart from my mother who actually told me I was fat when my BMI was underweight, but this was such a stupid comment that I just brushed it off.