Verbally attacked today over 'Thin Privilege'? I can't.

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 91
Member
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

mrs2014 :  Wrong. I am proof that this is not true, as is my mother. We are both very thin and do not work for it at all. High metabolism and a naturally small appetite can do wonders for you, as does being born with a small frame. I almost never work out, eat what I want, and I remain very thin. It’s great, I’m not complaining, but come on, not everyone works for it, just as not all fat people are fat because they’re overeating and inactive.

Post # 93
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

tiffanybruiser :  not wrong, just not right for everyone. One of my grannies was obese, one was skinny. I am not sure whose genes I got cause I used to be skinny all my life until I gained a lot of weight (30+lbs). And then the actual work kicked in. I could sit back and relax and blame the medications (which was actually doctors advise) or I could work really hard to fight it. I fought! And I couldn’t be happier now. So I think I earned my weight as I actually had to work for it! Most of my friends who are slim watch their weight the whole time, an di know it’s a hard struggle for them. I don’t think it’s ok to tell them that Oh it’s just genes. Wrong, it’s a lot of work which shouldn’t be ignored 

Post # 94
Member
6171 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

mrs2014 :  Being smart is a privilege and if someone found out your IQ and gave you a job in some field based solely on that when you had zero experience or qualifications to draw from, it would be an example of how your privilege gives you an unearned advantage.

Privilege is not necessarily a bad thing that people need to go around feeling guilty about. I think it’s more about being aware of how our world and society function and recognizing the implications of it.

I am heterosexual. I am smart. I am attractive. I am thin. I am able bodied. I have advanced degrees. I know people who can help me gain access to work in fields where I have interests. All of those things are privileges that benefit me as I move through the world and they mean something. It serves no purpose to be guilty about them but if there’s a movement that advantages me as a thin woman (while targeting my fat friends for no reason but their fatness), then it’s my responsibility to say something about it. I think of it more as a way for us to use our areas of power (unearned, though it may be) to look out for one another.

Post # 95
Member
10685 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Buymymixtape :  

Um, no.  Thinness is not attainable by everyone.  I was a bit too thin at 118 lbs, but I liked how I looked.

Then my thyroid decided to start degnerating.  My weight started climbing, in spite of the fact that I am religious about what I put in my mouth and exercise.  An ultrasound of my thyroid was done, it’s ok.  My doctor put me on meds for hypothyroidism. Weight kept climbing.  My thyroid still tested low so he upped the dose.   My weight started really climbing.  I was in a panic and 25 lbs heavier despite my good diet.

Yesterday, I was switched from generic to brand name meds and the dose upped again.  I’m can only hope this arrests my ever climbing weight soon.

I’ll think twice before I pass judgement on an overweight person from now on.

Post # 98
Member
1505 posts
Bumble bee

“Thin privilege” is real as if “fat discrimination”.

I had MASSIVE metabolic issues and wound up getting a Duodenal Switch. And, since then I’ve gone from a tight 26/28 to what’s now a loose 8/10 in a little under two years.

In that time, I’ve seen the comments and looks from “normal (accepted) sized” individuals become, for lack of a better term, appreciative and friendly.  People don’t say anything more than ‘shouldn’t you eat more’ when we go out.  There are far more smiles.  And, at the same time, I’ve seen “overweight (not accepted)” individuals get catty.

When I was over 300 pounds, I rarely got smiles unless it was someone I knew, even when I was dressed to the nines.  I got snarky comments and looks when I’d go through a plane to sit down or asked for a chair instead of a booth.

I spend a fraction of what I spent before on clothing and I can go into any store and try something on and it fits.  No side-eye when I take in something sexy.  Again, not something people who have always been at an acceptable weight experience.

I feel for your friend because she’s in a sucktastic place.  But, she has to decide that she will either accept and love herself and not snark back at others OR make the necessary lifestyle changes to support a new weight.

Post # 99
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

sassy411 :  I hope the meds work for you bee! I know how scary it is to watch your weight grow due to a medical condition and feel powerless about it. I send you good vibes!

Post # 100
Member
10685 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

mrs2014 :  

Thank you!

Post # 101
Member
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

mrs2014 :  I get what you’re saying. You definitely did earn it and you should be proud of that. What I’m trying to get at, i guess, is that you can’t tell just by looking at someone really anything about them (their health, their personality, etc.), but people tend to associate heaviness with negative characteristics like laziness, gluttony, etc, while associating thinness with positive characteristics like hard worker, fit, got your shit together, etc.

You earned your thinness and you should rock it, but I don’t think it’s fair to say you deserve to be perceived as a “better person” than someone who is fat just because you’re thin and because you worked hard to be thin. But that’s what happens in our world…that is thin privilege.

Post # 102
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - .

sassy411 :  Hi there! I’m also Hypo and I feel you! I’ve had it for all of my adult life, and the usual T4 treatments NEVER worked for me. I found a doctor about a year ago who only used T3 to treat hypothyroidism and now almost a year later I feel worlds better! If you want to PM me I’d be happy to share more of my experience with you, as I know most of it has nothing to do with the topic of this post, but please know you are NOT alone!

Post # 103
Member
3292 posts
Sugar bee

Thin privilege is a real thing. When I had an ED I was treated better than I am now that I am at a healthy BMI. Being very thin is seen as a sign of status and money. And that is fucked up. 

Post # 104
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

yourhandinmine :  I didn’t read the advice after this update so sorry if it is a duplicate. This is clear harassment. It didn’t happen in your physical work dwelling but it is still considered “workplace” if. Connection to work can be made. In this case, you were at lunch with coworkers so it applies. She has just put the rest of your coworkers in a “witness” position with her texts as well as them overhearing her comments at lunch  

im sorry this happened. Keep us posted and good luck. 

Post # 105
Member
684 posts
Busy bee

I don’t understand how “fat-shaming” is worse than “thin-shaming.” (I also think the word “shaming” is overused.) I don’t see how people bullying me, calling me names, and making rude comments about my weight from when I was a skinny kid in first grade to a skinny teenager in high school is not as bad as doing the same to an overweight person.

Instead of trying to win the victim olympics, why can’t we just say that being a dick to people who didn’t do anything to you is shitty and shouldn’t be tolerated. I vote on going to HR, too, after reading the post about the texts.

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors