Verbally attacked today over 'Thin Privilege'? I can't.

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 106
Member
2358 posts
Buzzing bee

Well, if you think that thin and fat people are treated the same you are wrong. My sister who was 400plus got people staring at her, and people telling her she probably shoudn’t eat that when we were in public. I think there is a difference. Would I call it thin privilege. No. I can’t stand the “privilege ” title. 

Post # 107
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

After reading your updates, I agree that it’s time to take this issue to HR. But, before you go to HR definitely self evaluate and make sure the way you portrayed the incident here is accurate, and that you haven’t said or done anything (inappropriate texts, emails, etc) that could come back to bite you in the course of a thorough HR investigation. 

Post # 108
Member
12132 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

While this person was out of line and insulting in her initial reaction to a simple offer to share food, I also really really don’t think it was necessary of you to get into a debate about higher priced plus size clothing and insurance. When she raised those two issues as an example of how she feels discriminated against as an overweight person, I dont know what good or useful purpose you thought would come from telling her that heavy people should expect higher rates and more expensive clothes. 

You already knew you had triggered a very negative and emotional reaction.  What possible reason could you have had for going down that road? It only added fuel to her fire. 

 

Post # 109
Member
3383 posts
Sugar bee

yourhandinmine :  Do you work at a magazine or something, like where everyone works in romantic comedies? Maybe I am out of touch with the workplace but this entire situation is COMPLETELY BONKERS.

Post # 110
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I think that fat shaming and thin shaming are equally as bad and I say it as someone who has been both. I grew up thin and always had people make comments and your expected to laugh it off or see it as some sort of compliment. Then I got ill and put on a lot of weight and it went the other way but people would defend me and it was seen as bad to make comments. But it was no different! I do not understand why fat shaming is seen as worse! Both are hurtful spiteful comments about people’s weight it really is no different. I swear if I see one more Facebook post about “real women” I will scream. Because thin women are robots? Op the women was out of line 100% the follow up is very bitchy but I’d probably just try to ignore it if she doesn’t take it any further. Your friends stood up for you which is important if she now drops it (as they pointed out she was in the wrong) then move on if she continues report to hr. There isn’t much you can do for people in the “victim” mind set though she will probably never except that what she did was as bad as the perceived smite she thinks you did towards her. 

Post # 111
Member
9215 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

SLOBee :  lol. MTE. This is crazy drama for random coworkers.

Post # 112
Member
3009 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

yourhandinmine :  I just find it a giant contradiction when these individuals claim that all bodies should be loved, but not the SKINNY bodies. Only the people who are struggling with weight.

I agree with this. “Real women have curves” used to irk me. I understand the sentiment, but I always wanted to correct it to say “Real women come in all shapes and sizes.” I have a boyish (tiny boobs, no hips), athletic build, a fast metabolism, and have always been very active. I never had any curves at all until I got pregnant and started gaining weight. I readily acknowledge that fat shaming and discrimination against overweight people exists. Even though I’ve been active and eaten healthfully my whole life, I also have a fast metabolism and a naturally small build so I can “indulge” in dessert or whatever plenty and not gain weight. I realize this is simply “luck” and has nothing to do with my will-power, self-discipline, or anything else under my control. It’s obvious our society values thinness and also equates it with attreactiveness. Good-looking people have advantages in life, as do white people, white men, taller men, etc. Anyway, it’s ovious your coworker was completely out-of-line here.

 

Post # 114
Member
7813 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Itsnotme :  IMO, the people with the victim mindset are thin people who complain that thin shaming is as bad as fat shaming. Like, if you really must be a victim, pick another characteristic than your thinness—which is almost universally considered a desirable trait—to be a victim about. 

Post # 115
Member
555 posts
Busy bee

sassy411 :  you clearly didn’t read my entire post or you chose to ignore the last paragraph 

Post # 116
Member
4556 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Buymymixtape :  Amen. I am fat, (albeit a lot less fat than I was) and I can’t say thin privilege is the same as white privilege. I had no control over my color, but I sure have control over my weight. I say this as someone with a medical condition that is notoriously used as an excuse for being heavy. It really is science, eat less calories than you burn- voila! Weightloss. No hate for the body positivity movement though, I think everyone has a right to their space in the universe no matter their size- but you can’t have it both ways.

Post # 117
Member
668 posts
Busy bee

Thin privilege is definitely a thing but the way this woman handled the situation/reacted is definitely not okay. Thin shaming is also totally a thing.

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