Post # 17
I’d definitely share what you know with your husband (though perhaps be discreet about the whole herpes thing) and try to gradually distance yourself from her. It sounds as though she’s got some issues and it would be unfortunate for your family to be drawn into them.
Post # 18
Ok I have a friend like this to the T. The worse thing you can do it talk down about her, it only makes you look bad. Instead drop a very casual comment going like this….” Wow ” blank ” has much an amazing husband and it’s great they are so in love. Not many guys would be able to look past the fact she has herpies and still marry her “….this way you dont look jealous. I won’t worry about the FB thing, from what you’ve said she will move on in a few.
Honestly this type girl will hit on all guys, once she doesnt get want she wants she will move on, let her come to the wedding, shine and be happy. Don’t sweat her or in her warped mind she will think she’s won.
Post # 19
Okay, I don’t think you need to freak out. Maybe its because all kinds of women want to get in my mans pants (I don’t know what it is about him, really), but if he shows no signs of straying, it isn’t that big of a deal. He is a human dude who is enjoying some attention. I would play off of that.
This is what I would honestly do: tell him you think she has a crush on him (pump up his ego), playfully tell him it makes you a tad jealous that such a pretty girl is hitting on her hunky husband (again, ego), tell him she is a bit of a, uh, loose woman (blame on her), and that she has herpes (and now he will never, ever sleep with her).
Something a little like: “Man, I think that X has a total crush on you! I mean, what woman wouldn’t, but I’m shaking in my gorgeous engagement ring that such a hottie has a thing for my stud muffin! You probably get it all the time, though. And you know, she probably isn’t playing either! I heard that she cheats on her husband all the time. And she told me a couple of years ago that she has herpes! You better watch out, mister, the herpes hotties are going to get you” (end scene with tickles)
Or, something less cheesy. Basically, find a way to tell him she has herpes without hinting he is going after that. No one wants herpes. She can FB him all she wants, herpes is a dealbreaker (IMO, and probably to anyone who would ever consider cheating. what a way to get caught!)
Post # 20
Um… I just need to say that just because someone has herpes, that does not automatically make them “loose” or a “whore.” One of my very best friends got this from the first person she ever slept with… and he didn’t tell her until after the fact. Just needed to get that off my chest. Anyway, yes, let your husband know that she has a bad track record, you were uncomfortable with the way she was flirting with him and you’d like him to quit talking to her. He should understand.
Post # 21
I would casually drop it into conversation with your Fiance that your friend has affairs, you don’t approve, and oh, by the way she has genital herpes… karma, baby (in this situation, not a generalization with just anyone who has herpes, mind you!). Let him assimilate the info on his own. It works best that way anyway.
And then trust your Fiance.
Post # 22
Thank you all so much for your input and advice. I have a wonderful update.
My Fiance approached me after dinner and asked if something was wrong. I told him something was weighing on my heart. He asked what was wrong. I opened the conversation by asking him if he remembered a conversation we had many years ago about a friend of mine who was unfaithful to her husband. He didn’t, but when I reminded him of his response (that it was my responsibility to tell my friend that what she was doing was a really bad idea), he vaguely remembered.
I told him it was the friend in question. He was very surprised. I told him she was unfaithful to her husband many times, and that she had been unfaithful to her first husband, as well. I told him I was very concerned about the fact that they were now Facebook friends and that she was very interested in his updates, and when he figured out where I was going with the conversation, he immediately took my hands into his and held me close and told me that he would never, ever be unfaithful to me. He said that imagining the heartbreak and sadness doing so would cause to me would absolutely crush him, absolutely break his heart, and he couldn’t live with himself or knowing how much his infidelity would kill me. Of course, I cried and cried! And felt utterly reassured.
I feel much better. Thank you all so much for your input. The honest and direct route seemed to work.
Post # 23
Yay! I’m so glad you were able to be honest with him and you feel better!
Post # 24
Hurray! A good talk saves the day.
Post # 25
Awww Awesome! I’m glad to see a happy ending!