- 4 years ago
I got in an argument last night with my BF that was mostly my fault, and I’m sad because it made me realize that I don’t trust him. I really love him, and want us to build a life together, but I’m not sure where to really go from here. We’ve been together 2 years, living together for 1.
We had a problem last year, where I found text messages between he and an ex-GF. They were never anything raunchy but I started noticing that he was texting alot and then the messages would just disappear. He was deleting them from his phone so I wouldn’t see them. In the two years we were together, I didn’t even know this person existed because he never mentioned her to me. One day, I finally questioned him about it, he said it was nothing, and I eventually called her on speakerphone and told her this needed to stop. She told me “she understood my position but couldn’t imagine her life without him”. She lived two blocks away from our house, and it the two years together he NEVER told me about her. It shattered my heart. He stopped talking to her and we agreed to work through it. This was maybe Septemberish of last year.
Anyway, since then I’ve forgiven but not forgotten so to speak and try to keep my eyes open. Last night I came home, and saw a series of text messages between he and another girl – again they were platonic. But she had invited him to some show, he asked her what time, and what day, she told him Sunday from 2-3. He said okay, I’ll see you there. She texted him goodnight. Then he texted her good morning. They exchanged a few more messages that ended with him texting her about 1:00 yesterday and telling her he had to work late and wasn’t going to make the show, and she said “you’ll be missed”.
Bees, I tried to pretent that I didn’t see it and wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt but I went bezerk. He always spends sundays with me and this sunday he told me that he would be working late, which he did, but he never mentioned a show, or this girl. He said that he wasn’t ever really planning on going even though he told her he was, and that he didn’t tell me because it wasn’t a real plan. He throws alot of events, and he says that he feels like he has to patronize other peoples if he wants them to come to his and that’s all that was.
But why not tell me? I feel really crappy. I feel like I shouldn’t be snooping and I said I never wanted to be THAT person, but I also feel like I’m not sure anymore what to believe. I’m so confused I don’t even know if I’m over-reacting over every little thing now. It makes me really sad because I want this to work, but I don’t want to be naive either…