Post # 1
I’m starting to get really depressed. I know I want more kids and there are a lot of people around me getting pregnant and having babies all at the same time and it makes me sad that I’m not one of them but that is nothing to what has happened with two of my friends. On the 9th of this month one of my friends went it to hear her babies heart beat and there wasn’t one…she was devistated. This was going to be her third child and I know it hurts her but I also know her well enough to be able to take her mind off of it and make her laugh and forget for a little while.
As bad as I feel for her I feel worse for my other friend. She is someone I work with and talk to but we never really hang out or anything. Her and her husband have been trying for 3 years to have a child and she was really excited when she got pregnant. Last month she went to the hospital thinking she just had a really bad case of heart burn. The babies heart rate dropped and wasn’t coming back up so she had an emergency c-section. Her due date wasn’t until November. The boy has been slowly gaining weight and seemed to be doing fine and he finally hit 2 lbs on Saturday. Late on Saturday night or early Sunday morning he passed away. I don’t know the specifics of it but I was speachless. I can’t imagine what they must be going through. I’m not sure what to say to my second friend or how to act around her. I have a happy, healthy baby and she lost hers. Not only do I not know what to say but I know I’m going to feel bad when I start TTC in about 6 months and I’m going to be wondering if one of these things will happen to me next time. I guess I just wanted to get my thoughts out there and have other people sending good thoughts their way. Both of the families need prayers from those who believe in God and well wishes from those who don’t.
Post # 3
Oh I’m so sorry to hear, my heart breaks for your friend and everyone surrounding her!
I will have them in my prayers during this time of grief!
Post # 4
*Sending good thoughts your way and praying for you and your friends*
Post # 5
It’s always heartbreaking when your hear cases like these, even when you don’t know those involved, sadly this things happen more often that we think or wish. Let’s just hope these 2 women have enough strenght to handle this and are able to conceive soon. As for you, unfortunately I have no advice (I’m the worst person when it comes to comfort someone) but I wish you the best of luck.
Post # 6
Thats awful awful awful. Its the worst thing a person can go through in life.
There’s no right way to act or right thing to say, and sometimes “Im sorry” can feel wrong or like not enough. Offer hugs, and keep reminding them you are there if they need anything.
Having known a friend who went through something similar, I can tell you that the worst things people said to her were along the lines of “he’s an angel now” or “God wanted him to be in Heaven” etc – after going through something like that, some moms are very very angry at God and have every right to feel that way – they don’t want to think about their baby being in Heaven or being an angel because they just want their baby alive and with them…
Post # 7
Oh how awful. I would offer condolences. Send a card and flowers and offer to be there if they need to talk-even if they don’t want you to talk back. They will appreciate that. I’ve had a friend tell me that what hurt the most aside from the loss was people ignoring it bc they didnt know what to do. As for the fear that one of those things will happen to you…those fears are normal. I think every pregnant woman fears miscarriage, and since these two things hit very close to home, your fear is intensified. Just remember…these things are not contagious. They are horrible and heartbreaking, but not contagious. I had to tell myself that repeatedly during my pregnancy.
Post # 8
Thanks ladies. I will let my friends know that there are other people that are thinking about them. I’m hoping they will feel better knowing that everyone is thinking about them.
@KellyV: Thanks for the advise. That’s a good idea. I’ll try that.