(Closed) Very different families

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

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jonasbutterfly :  We were in a similar situation. We just had a small ceremony with our parents. It was at DH’s parent’s house and they don’t drink for religious reasons (my parents are drinkers), so we didn’t have alcohol. We celebrated with alcohol with my parents (who were staying at our house) later in the evening. Our families are all spread out and not that close and most are too poor to travel, so that was the main reason for the choice. We did travel to my home state for a small celebration later with my grandparents and some cousins and family friends I grew up with. I think it was the right choice for us, I feel like his parents and siblings would have been super awkward at a normal wedding, just sitting at a table uncomfortably judging people. 

Post # 3
2130 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

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jonasbutterfly :  This is 100% the reason Fiance & I are having a Destination Wedding. 

His family is extremely conservative and very successful. My parents are ultra liberal and are both live below the poverty line. We knew that it would be impossible to expect them to get along, and likely a fight would break out.

His family spends holidays together and though they aren’t close, they definitely have a cohesive relationship. I am not on speaking terms with anyone in my mother’s family (including her) and have only the most arm’s length relationship with my dad after not talking to him for the last 5 years or so previously. 

Normally it would be easy to just invite his family and not mine, but they tend to be pretty judgemental and while Fiance isn’t like them at all, I think if we got them in a room with some of my closest friends they’d see their tattoos and opinions and it would just be uncomfortable for everyone. 

Ultimately your wedding should be a day for you and your Fiance to celebrate the beginning of the family you are creating together, not necessarily to include or acknowledge the ones you came from. Do what feels right to you. If eloping feels like less drama, I say pack your bags!



Post # 4
7991 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i think you and DH should have the wedding you want to have.

Post # 5
9436 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I don’t think so. My family is very loud, enjoy thier alcohol, very extroverted. My husband’s family is quiet, reserved, don’t really drink. They have opposite political views, as well. But they get along great. Everyone had a blast at the wedding and even hung out quite a bit in the days before the wedding. My Father-In-Law has actually mentioned several times how much he liked my aunt and uncle who really could not be more different!

Really, those are pretty superficial differences. Despite thier differences they are all great people. People can get along with people who are different than them.

Post # 6
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Wedgewood Las Vegas

Have the wedding you want, and don’t worry about how they will blend together.

My family is very much middle class, drinkers, and tend to call anyone who earns more than they do ‘snooty’. His are very conservative, highly religious, no alcohol, and wealthy. They got along just fine at our wedding. Lots of praise about the other family from both sides. My parents and his parents only met for the first time a couple days before the wedding.

I wouldn’t overthink it. They can be adults for one night and get along.

Post # 7
1135 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t know anyone with families that blend. Each side will mingle with the people they know just like any other party.

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