(Closed) Very disheartened with my church :(

posted 6 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

Ok.  I think maybe you should find a new church.  I understand your attachment to it, but these changes are unnacceptable and aren’t going unnoticed if other families have left as well.  I’m sorry you’re going through this.  Also, my opinion is that the money is not “a gift to the Lord”.  You can pray to God/worship in your own home or anywhere else for free.  God does not discriminate against that.  Religion is a personal experience not a financial one.  If they cannot compromise I suggest finding an alternative.  Can the retired priest still perform weddings?  Maybe he can marry you elsewhere?

Post # 5
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

God does not need money… How will this help? I second finding the old priest and asking him to marry you. Especially when you tell him what has happened. 

Post # 7
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t think you’re off base at all, that’s no way to treat… anyone. 

Weddings seem to bring out the best in people, don’t they?  My parents left their church after they refused to marry my husband and I and the pastor I grew up with actually told my mother to “pray against the relationship.” 

Post # 9
133 posts
Blushing bee

I do think it is unfair for them to jack up the price if you already booked the date under the originally stated $100. But I don’t see an issue of rising the cost from $100 to $500. It cost $800 to use my own church and same as you I was baptisted there and me and my family are active members of the church. When I considered we would have the ceremony, rehearsal, a coordinator, custodian, electricity, etc it put the fee in perspective.

Either way I would wait and talk to the priest directly (and not the secretary) and explain your situation due to your financial constraints. And remember to have faith. Change is always difficult. Best of luck.

Post # 10
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Stuff like this is why I don’t agree with organized religion. A “gift to the Lord” can be used so many ways to get people to give what they may not want to give.

Post # 11
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am a Christian, but not of the Catholic variety.  All I can say is that forcing people to “give to the Lord” makes the “gift” not actually a gift and it also isn’t very Biblical.  I really would look for a new church with Bible-based values.  This priest is an extortionist.

Post # 12
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am Catholic and sorry to say, reasons like this is why I am no longer attending church. My old church was taken over by a very greedy priest. I attempted to find a new one, but they all seemed to be that way. I think it has to do with newer priests vs older ones. I have yet to find a new priest that I actually like. I’m sorry for your struggles 🙁 I hope you can find one that you like!!

Post # 13
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My opinion is that the church should be understanding of parishioners in their times of need and not look at them as money-makers.  Am I off base here?

Well, yes if you think that there is no “business” in the church.  The Catholic church is like the biggest business in the world.  OF COURSE they are money makers.  There are salaries to pay and upkeep.  etc.  Who pays that?  Certainly not God.  It’s the parishoners.  And as hard times hit…. people tithe less.  So what happens?  The cost of goods and services rise.  It’s just like real life. 

I disagree that they should charge the higher price if you had already booked them.  But I do agree that everything at the church has a price, and that should be adjusted with inflation.  if the church had NEVER raised the amount for the cost of rental, then it’s probably a good source of additional revenue for the church.  It’s unfortunate that they don’t have better “presentation” skills.  They may have a business office and revenue plan…. but it sounds like they could use a PR Dept.

If it’s a deal breaker, I wouldn’t get married there.  I would say that it might be a wake up call to the church if your family leaves – because they have been so active for so long.  But, unfortunately, they probably won’t care.  Otherwise they would have worked with you in the first place, right?


However, if it’s a big deal to you to get married it the same place you’ve taken all your other sacraments….. well then I would suck it up and find the extra $400.

Post # 14
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ew. i’m sorry that’s so wrong!  Like how about, whatever happened to acting in the spirit of Christianity, and cutting us a break (considering you guys booked the church before the price went up – any other vendor you had a contract with would be unable to raise prices on you like that).  

Post # 15
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@howtobeawife:  +1 This was my thought as well (also from a Christian perspective).  I can totally understand if there is a cost associated with using the facilities and the staff of a church for a wedding.  However, the fees should not be considered or labeled a “gift to the Lord”.  A “gift to the Lord” needs to come from the heart of the person offering it…..or else it is displeasing.  (At least, that is what my Bible indicates to me). 


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