Post # 1
This is very embarrassing but I’m worried that I have a loose vagina. I’m 23 and never had kids. I always thought I had a normal vagina, or even a tight one, just because of my age and the fact that I don’t have children. I also thought that having small bones and a narrow body would be a sign that I was tight but I realize that is not relevant. I’ve realized I may be loose for the following reasons:
- Sex has never hurt for me, aside from the very first time. Occasionally there’s some issues getting it in, but I feel like that’s just dryness. No guy has ever told me I was “too tight”.
- Only one guy has ever even said I was tight at all. I haven’t slept with many men, but I feel like ALL guys should say this, and I’ve only heard it from one guy, and it was after he knew I was self conscious.
- I can wear tampons with no problem, even the bigger ones (althuogh in all fairness, even the biggest tampon is smaller than a penis).
- The most important one: No gynecologist has ever complimented me on having a tight hoo-ha. All my friends have had gynecologists say, “Oh, your vaginal canal is so teeny!” and make little comments about how tight their muscles were. All my friends claim that they’ve had some doctor tell them they’re too tight for childbirth, too tight for sex, etc. I’ve also seen similar claims over the Internet. i can’t imagine any gyno being that unprofessional as to joke about your “tightness” but it’s never happened for me. I asked two gynos about it- one said “Well, I’m using the smallest speculum, if it makes you feel any better” (it didn’t- she was only using it bc of my age) and the other siad “You’re totally normal for a woman your age without children.”
- But I’m pretty sure I’m loose. Everyone I talk to is just like “Oh, I WISH I was you! I’m so tight I can’t do anything with a penis! omg!” And that just like…makes me feel a gazillion times worse.
I woudl prefer sex to be mildly painful, than continue being probably the worst lay my boyfriend has ever had. I talk to him about this a lot and he always says it’s just my anxiety. I guess since we have sex every day, maybe it’s just that I don’t have time to “tighten back up”? I don’t know, but I feel very unsexy, old and disgusting. Just to clarify, I’m fine with how my vag looks, I am just convinced it is a gaping hole of misery.
I’ve tried kegels but rarely, I keep forgetting to do them and honestly I doubt they even help. Has anyone actually seen results?
Please no feminist comments about how a man’s needs don’t matter. I’d like to please my boyfriend. Tips for how to be tighter are great, though.
Post # 3
I don’t think any of your bullet points are very good indicators of tightness. Why would you expect every guy to tell you that you are tight? That is not a typical thing for guys to say during sex. For that matter, why would you expect any gynocologist to tell you this? I’ve never even heard of a gynocologist saying this, and if my gyno said this to me, I’d be super creeped out. All it means is that you probably have a doctor that isn’t a completely unprofessional weirdo.
Sex isn’t supposed to hurt. If sex doesn’t hurt for you, the only thing that means is that you’re totally normal. Same thing with tampons. Tampons are created WITH THE PURPOSE of easily going in, no matter what size they are.
I think you’re really over thinking this. At the VERY least, you are totally normal.
Post # 4
@anon00: From someone who has the opposite problem, let me tell you, the grass isn’t always greener. If I’m not careful and prepared, I get cuts and tears that sting (sorry TMI), so it’s not fun. Also, just because you’re a little looser down there, doesn’t mean your bf isn’t enjoying himself, you’re probably imagining it’s far worse than what it really is (we’re always our own worst critics). If you’re really concerned, I’ve heard of women doing kegal exercises to help “improve” that area, but I don’t have any experience with this.
Post # 5
Girl, you need to relax. NONE of the points you listed are proof or evidence that your va jay jay is loose or tight. it has to do with so many things, including the size of your man’s penis. Just because your gyno isn’t remarking on your tightness and tampons fit the way they should, DOES NOT mean you have a gaping hole of misery or whatever silly thing you said. If your guy is having sex with you every day or quite often, he obviously has no complaints on the state of your down town area. I know it’s your anxiety talking, but really, this is nothing to worry about. If you enjoy sex and everything feels good, that’s what matters 🙂
Post # 6
@housebee: Your husband will probably never leave you so trust me the grass is not greener. I’m disgusting and he will probably cheat on me because of this, so trust me, it’s not something to wish for. I’d rather be in complete pain during sex than risk losing him or leaving him unsatisfied.
Post # 7
This kind of sounds like body dismorphic disorder. Have you been to counseling for your anxiety?
Post # 8
You are completely normal.
Guys don’t compliment girls on their tightness. They take it as a given. Besides, have you ever been with a guy who has been with a woman who has given birth? I’m assuming not, which means 23 year olds are all they’ve ever known.
Sex shouldn’t be uncomfortable after the first couple of times. And yes, you should be able to use larger-sized tampons after having sex.
And finally, I would find any gyno commenting on my muscles or tightness to be really unprofessional. I’d be annoyed to hear them complain or compliment me on it, it’s just very awkward and weird.
Keep up the kegels, if just for your own increased pleasure at sex
Post # 9
WHAT? I think this is seriously all in your head. I don’t think all guys say that to girls and I have never, EVER had a gyno comment on tightness of any kind. I mean, they’ve had to tell me to relax and that I’m tensing/tightening up and making it difficult for them, but “Your vaginal canal is so teeny?” WTF?
Post # 10
@anon00: I think you are wayyyy overthinking this. lol I have never heard a guy make a comment about a girl being tight or not, esp at our age (24), nor a doctor. Its not really something that most people, that I know, talk about. Im sure you are perfectly fine and its all in your head. Also, your Boyfriend or Best Friend prob would have never even considered it until you brought it up. I think you need to stop asking people and just let it go.
Post # 11
@RunnerBride13: Yes 🙁 I have a lot of issues surrounding my physical appearance- I hate my waist for example and don’t think I’ll ever be happy unless I have a waist hip ratio of 0.6. I swear I’m not joking about this, my BDD can be pretty bad from time to time, but this is something my friends have even joked with me about. My friend says she is too tight to give birth (not sure how this is possible, given that 12 year olds have literally given birth before). But yeah. They were joking with me about how I might be loose because no gyno has ever told me I’m tight. Maybe my friends are jerks, lol
Post # 12
@housebee: This. I dont even enjoy sex for the first few minutes because it hurts so bad. Fiance always feels bad because I wince really bad when he’s sticking it in.
Post # 13
I’d like to throw the suggestion out that perhaps your cervix is just longer than others. I recently had a miscarraige, I was told that I had a very short cervix. I never heard it before, but I talked to some friends who said theirs were ‘further up’ so certain positions didn’t bump against the cervix like with me it does, which does give a painful feeling at certian points. So I’m not sure if that is what you are hoping for in the pain dept of sex haha.
I’ve NEVER heard that a gyno says ‘oh you’re so tight!’, that would be out of line. So, I think your friends might be just saying that, it doesn’t sound right that someone would say that. Also, I’ve never heard anyone say a tampon wouldn’t go in- they are made for comfort NOT to notice they are in you.
Don’t think you’re any different than what people online tell you they are. You are perfectly normal. From what I know, sex isn’t supposed to hurt, and if it does then something is wrong. If you’re worried about the tight feeling for your boyfriend, perhaps buy a We-Vibe, we have one and it makes it incredibly tight in there. Also, perhaps try positions like spooning, or from behing with your legs between his, this would give that added tightness. I don’t think you need it though!
Post # 14
@anon00: I really don’t think your guy is going to leave you. By your logic, your man would be much happier than mine (I can’t have sex with him daily). Is there some reason you think your man would leave you? Most men don’t want to see their partners uncomfortable/in pain during sex, but rather, enjoying themselves. You both deserve to feel good and loved during sex. The fact that tampons fit you normally, the gynecologist says your normal and sex is comfortable for you means that you’re normal. Please don’t feel like you should suffer just to keep someone happy, you deserve better than that.
Post # 15
Honestly? I would be weirded out if my gyno said ANYTHING about the size of my vag!!! And you say that these doctors “compliment” your friends? That might be a violation of professional standards it’s so gross. If there are any physicians on here I’d love to hear your opinion.
Post # 16
I’m going to comment here so I remember to come back and tell you about my own ladybits once I decide if you’re for real.